🎃 Go looking for the perfect sweater to pair with coords through the cold months, eliminating the choice between being cold or fashionable
🎃 Find cute halloween themed accessories at the store! If your fashion is on the sweet or spooky cute side I have found some surprisingly wonderful accessories at the dollar store and pharmacy this time of year.
🎃 Give orange a chance! It’s the most underrated color in egl in my opinion and instantly gives a spooky but festive vibe to any coord
🎃 Carve pumpkins to get into the Halloween spirit! Maybe carve a cute cat or an elegant design!
🎃 Try making your own pumpkin spice mix and use it to bake or make your lattes at home!
🎃 Wear as many gothic or gothic inspired coords as you can this month!
🎃 Watch Creepy Cute Movies like Coraline or anything done by Tim Burton, the Nightmare Before Christmas is my personal favorite
We have all seen it, the leaving lolita sales, or long winded posts about why people have to leave, but why does it happen so often in egl? To be fair I haven’t spent a lot of time in other alternative fashion spaces, and as far as gyaru goes I am a complete and total beginner. But I have been actively participating in the lolita community for around five years now and it is an amazing phenomena to me that this community seems to engender burnout in its own unique way.
Why is this? I have a few theories of what could be contributing to this. I haven’t done any studies so all that follows is merely opinion based on some observations I have made throughout the years. One of the things I think leads to members leaving so drastically is the sheer high maintenance of the fashion itself in a lot of ways. The clothing is expensive and taking care of it will either take a lot of energy or a lot of money and for a lot of people you can be pretty short on both. Most lolita fashion events in order to protect the communities integrity and safety require that you have at least one coord you can wear to go to that event, so if you run out of energy or money to care for your clothing, selling it off is a good option. However if an individual sells off all of their clothes than they no longer have a wardrobe to wear to events and if they wish to start over that is a daunting task, as wardrobes take years to build. Especially if you are on a budget
The second theory I have on why I see the burnout rate in lolita fashion being so high is because of what I will dub the “small town effect” egl is a group of extraordinarily passionate people but in the grand scheme of things and subcultures it is an amazingly small subset of the alternative fashion community as a whole. Also, egl is a very internet based subculture, we take the time to meet in person and do a lot of in person events however this means that there is eyes constantly on what’s being talked about online. This encourages lolitas to share their journeys with the world but there is always a risk of being posted to sites specifically to belittle the work they have done by people who they will never know who it is. This is a lot of pressure to be under and it can be really overwhelming especially for younger members of the community.
There are other factors that go into play here, but these are the two big pieces I see factor into people deciding to end their lolita fashion journey. There is nothing wrong with your fashion journey growing and changing with you and if one day you completely grow out of egl or you wear it to your grave there is no shame in either path. What breaks my heart is seeing people who are still so in love with the fashion still have to painfully leave it behind. Here is some of my tips I want to share to try to prevent that from happening, so that when or if it comes time for you to move on you’ll be able to leave with fond memories of this wonderful fashion you dedicated part of your life to.
My first tip is to never collect more pieces than you can maintain, regular closet cleanouts and selling what no longer fits your body or style can help you attain this to prevent yourself from having overwhelm. Remember with clothing care you will either spend money or energy maintaining it. If you don’t have a lot of disposable income on the regular you can always handwash your clothes however remember that this will cost you energy. If you don’t have a lot of disposable energy you can pay to have your clothes taken care of and maintained for you but this will cost money. Make sure that you keep within both of resources so that your wardrobe can remain a joy and not a burden
My second tip is to build egl into your budget so that you know what you can spend on it and it won’t be a financial burden on you. This isn’t something I’m an expert on but I will link a video that I find supremely helpful from someone with more experience with money than me here.
My third tip is that it’s okay to take breaks from the fashion from time to time if you need to, it will be there when you come back, your physical, mental and financial health come first.
My fourth tip is to if possible connect with your local comm and try to focus more of your energy into your irl comm than you do the online comm. Egl on the internet is a very complicated place and it can drain a lot of the passion and energy that you have for the fashion if you keep looking in places filled with negativity. People behind screens can’t see you and your reactions and the layer of anonymity means people might say things that they normally wouldn’t say. That being said, it is 100% okay to make online friends and reach out to individuals on accounts and work with those seeking to build more positive community online in egl spaces that work is important and will help combat on a community level the burnout many individuals in this fashion face.
My fifth tip is to stop seeking perfection, it is of course totally fine to want to improve your art in your coords as I see each of our outfits as wearable art that we transform into our own masterpieces with each coord that we build, but it can be easy to give into constant self critique and never really allow yourself to love what you’re wearing. Allow yourself to love your clothes and your fashion.
This is my first month participating in the bibliotecha blogging circle and I am so grateful that I was accepted to join! This months theme was self care! If you would like to check out all of the other wonderful bloggers and subscribe to a monthly newsletter click on the link down below
In the year 2020 traditional blogging like this isn’t as popular as it once was, back when I first joined lolita fashion even 5 years ago. I was never truly a part of the livejournal days but blogging like this seems like it has always been an important and key part of lolita fashion. My favorites back in the day were ParfaitDoll, FYeahLolita, Lace A La Mode, and Vanilla Bear. It seems like once upon a time almost everyone was running a blog of some kind. Nowadays a lot of those blogs are full of broken links and images, and some entire websites are now only to be found on the wayback machine. In many ways it feels like an era is over, and I suppose in some ways it is. However I don’t think it may be entirely in the way one would think.
This community, at least in the west has always been very online. It’s how I met a lot of my current friends and how I continue to meet new people. Lolita Fashion’s online presence means a lot to me and I love being a part of it. I know I am not the only one who feels that way, I see egl blossoming in popularity online nowadays that I could have only dreamed of when I first started. In many ways it’s more accessible than ever to become a lolita and it shows. I love the influx of new people and it being a very different tune than the obligatory lolita fashion is dying posts that were popular when I first joined, my comm is the largest it has ever been.
I think lolita blogs didn’t die but more transformed into their own versions across all sorts of different websites, namely on YouTube, Instagram and Tiktok. The internet is a far more visual place than it used to be so I think content creators have simply adapted with the times. I mainly run this blog cause I’m nostalgic for the days before I had a single piece to my wardrobe scouring blogs for every scrap of info on the fashion I so desperately longed to a part of and I think that this blog is in some ways my way of reliving that. I think as long as lolita fashion exists as a subculture we will continue to create online to connect and share our experiences with each other. That’s a truly beautiful thing.
Self care is really important! We’ve all been through some pretty rough stuff lately and it could be good to take a moment to take good care of ourselves and do what we can to keep our spirits up. I always advocate for practical self care such as getting enough sleep, eating well and keeping up with doctor’s appointments but it is always super fun to treat yourself! Here’s a sweet lolita themed list of ways you could treat yourself!
❤ Get a kawaii bathbomb! I recently purchased a fairy themed one with a toy inside that I can’t wait to
❤ Bake a favorite sweet treat! Like cookies or cupcakes! You could find a really fancy one on pinterest to give a go
❤ Watch a cute show! My go to lately has been Tropical Rouge Pretty Cure! It is so adorable and I have been enjoying it so much
❤ Take some time to just take a break, set a timer and take a nap in a nest made of your favorite cute blankets and stuffed animals
❤ Make yourself a cup of floral tea and curl up and read a good book
❤ Clean up a space and make it super cute, light some floral or sweet themed candles.
☀️Get a kawaii swimsuit, and enjoy a trip with a friend
☀️Get outside! Go for a hike, swim or bike ride
☀️Watch the sunset one night
☀️Enjoy some ice cream! Try making one of those over the top harajuku ice cream shop style sundaes
☀️Try mixing in chiffon blouses and lighter fabrics into your coords to deal with the warm weather
☀️Create road trip mixtapes for when you’re able to road trip again
☀️Update your travel bags for when you can vacation again add bows and lace!
☀️Try a blouse less coord on a really hot day and take advice on how to coordinate that from much more experienced lolitas from warmer climates, I plan on trying one myself this month!
☀️Make a moodboard for how you want your summer to be and make it a
After seeing the recent drama go down in the community it got me thinking about the differences between goths and lolitas. For context my mother is a 90s goth and I find it fascinating how the different groups interact with the world.
Lolita Fashion, at least in the US, is an Internet based subculture. We mostly find each other online and posting pictures and videos online is a major part of the subculture for many who participate. Most of us buy our clothes online and discovered Lolita Fashion through the Internet. I think it gives our fashion a certain perspective of the world sometimes for better or worse.
I think Lolita fashion being online makes it easier to connect quickly with our subculture and find others like ourselves if only virtually. However I think this can breed a rather harsh environment given the polish the modern Internet is known for. It isn’t in all spaces of course but it’s no secret within the community.
I think this can lead to some misunderstanding of our community when new people join as we take so much of our subculture for granted over time. One thing I can think of is concrit which has become integral to our community where outfits are seen as works of art and critiques the same way one might critique a painting in art class.
It’s important for us to keep in mind that when new people enter our spaces that they aren’t going to be familiar with our intrinsic rules and culture and although it can be exhausting I believe that patience can go such a long way to making our community a more accepting and inviting place.
Now your mileage may vary on this one but these are ways I have seen that have made it possible for me to wear Lolita to work with little issue
1.) Blouse and Skirt coords are your best friend
People seem to be a lot more accepting of blouse and skirt coords at work! I think it might be because it makes it a bit more casual and approachable
2.) Keep Headpieces small or opt to use hairstyles and small bows
This helps reign in how in your face the style can be while retaining the elegance
3.) Updo’s if you have long hair instantly make your coords look more professional
I find that updos are great and tend to keep better throughout the day anyways
4.) In more conservative office environments Classic Lolita is usually a safe bet
5.) Wear sensible shoes
Know what your job is and be sure to wear appropriate shoes, if you sit at a desk all day tea parties may be just fine, but if you have to get up a lot like I do you may want to stick to flats or well kept sneakers that match your outfit (my american is showing)
6.) Keep accessories minimal
Same idea as your hair in this instance your almost trying to find a cross between casual Lolita and office wear to wear to work, a bit more formal than wearing a cutsew and skirt but not OTT, earrings and a necklace are usually a safe bet
7.) Be grateful our fashion fits most dress codes!
So it depends on the taste in your office but thankfully a fashion that has you cover your shoulders and wear knee length skirts is not going to break any modesty codes it just may offend some sensibilities, obviously your work is more important than having to wear this fashion everyday but these are some tips that I’ve found that help!
Luna By The Lake With Cake 