Uncategorized – Page 3 – Luna By The Lake With Cake

Etiquette for Photoshoots in Cemeteries

It’s that time of year where the spooky season is here and we celebrate spirits and death. You may be considering doing a fashion or cosplay shoot in a cemetery. There seems to be varied opinions on whether you should do this at all. It is up to your own discretion whether or not you wish to participate in this activity. Here are some tips for respectfully conducting filming or a photoshoot in a graveyard.

Don’t sit, lean, or prop up equipment on any gravestones or monuments
If there is a funeral going on or a large amount of mourners that day, reschedule.
Remove or blur out any names that are visible on graves in the shot. Avoid shooting near newer gravestones
Leave the area better than you arrived, take some time to pick up any litter you may see and be sure not to damage anything that was already there.
If you are asked by anyone who is there at the time to stop what you are doing and leave, do not argue and respect their wishes. This is first and foremost a place to mourn.
Be prepared for any photos you use to potentially be controversial if you post to social media, be prepared for that and be able to respond to concerns with grace.
Don’t take anything from the cemetery
Be sure you know the hours that it is open for visitors and only go during those hours
Have fun and be safe!

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How Vlogtober is going, and why I need to stop talking myself down from my dreams

I have been extremely busy on my Youtube channel and it has been so much fun! However a couple days ago I started to get demotivated even though the reception to my vlogtober content has been even better than I could have ever imagined. I actually hit 100 subscribers, my new years resolution long before the actual new year and yet…. I started having less and less energy to film content. Part of that is that it is indeed very difficult to film and upload videos every day for a month while I am also working a full time job.

However, I think a part of my is scared of actually succeeding at what I want. There’s always been expectations in my life that I would be the “successful” child and that all that my parents put themselves through is so I could live the lives they never had. I’m the child of a whole group of teenage parents who did their best but put a lot of pressure on me and that pressure often contradicted itself making it very hard for me to actually know what I wanted. Now that I am an adult it’s becoming clearer and clearer to me what I want to be in life, and what I want to be is an entertainer, that’s what makes my soul light up. I want to be an artist, youtuber, model, blogger, voice actress, fashion designer and whenever I admitted that to myself I would always tell myself I was being unrealistic and that that wasn’t a respectable thing to want to be and I would keep pushing myself to do the “sensible” thing. I don’t want to be sensible, I want to dream and that’s okay.

I think it is important to have a plan and to go about what I want in a way that will support me, for example I am saving up an emergency fund and will keep my current job until I would be able to safely sustain myself on other income but that doesn’t mean that I can’t work towards those goals. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. I even got back into music again recently. I have my fiance to thank for a lot of this, he is a the prince of pep talks and although this feeling has been bubbling inside me for awhile it finally clicked when he said that it was okay to have grandiose life goals and to see your life as stepping stones but if that changes that’s okay too and I am so grateful I have him. So I’ll choose to dare to dream again.

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Unique and Modern Lifestyle Lolita Ideas

Listen to Etiquette podcasts while you cook, during chores and during your commute it’s an excellent way to sharpen your conversation and social skills. My favorites are Schmanners and Awesome Etiquette.
Many classical books are in the public domain, search around to find free ebook versions to read to brush up on your literature knowledge
Watch Youtube tutorials of traditional skills, find tutorials on how to sew, draw, craft, bake and cook! There’s a plethora of information around the internet.
Start a blog! Lolita Fashion despite a lot of emphasis on historical influence has had a rich history of a thriving online community, a blog gives you a place to share and reflect
Learn how to make fancy documents on different computer programs, use special fonts in personal emails and create cute personalized print outs to help organize your life. (Make sure the emails are still readable!)
Run a fashion instagram where you share your favorite photos and moments
Join facebook communities to learn more about the fashion, there are a plethora to choose from.

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Social Distancing Virtual Halloween Lolita Meetup Ideas

1.) Have a Spooky Movie Marathon over Zoom, you may need to restart the meeting a few times if no one in your comm has the premium version. Make sure to pick movies ahead of time that people feel comfortable with and that people are willing to talk over, as it is a social affair!

2.) Play a spooky rpg session over discord! Have a DM in your comm? Plan a D&D or other rpg session and try to plan your coords around the theme and your character!

3.) Have an Animal Crossing “Trick or Treat!” Animal Crossing seems to be a very popular video game among lolitas and there’s a good chance that people in your comm have it! Try to collect the seasonal items throughout the month and decorate your islands in a festive way. Make sure to visit everyone’s island who wants their island to be seen!

4.) Have a bakeoff in your own kitchen with spooky treats!! Talk while you bake and and show off your treats when you’re done!

5.) Share directions of a craft with the group, perhaps bat embroidery or flower crowns with skulls inside. Chat while you make them and show them off if they go well and laugh if they go badly

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My Ideal Maidenly Day

7:00am – Wake Up and Get Dressed in the coord I laid out the night before

8:00am – Eat Breakfast and Read Etiquette Guides

9:00am – Go for a walk in nature and reflect on myself

10:00am – Exercise

11:00am – Practice an Instrument

11:30am – Practice a language

12:00pm – Lunch

12:30 – Chores

1:00pm – Drawing

2:00pm – Sewing

3:00pm – Play a video game

4:00pm – Shopping

5:00pm – Dinner

6:00pm – Reading and Relaxing

7:00pm – Call a friend

8:00pm – Bathing and Getting Ready for Bed

9:00pm – Write in Journal

10:00pm – Free time

11:00pm – Sleep

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Lifestyle Lolita Ideas for October

The leaves have changed, there’s pumpkins everywhere and its time to get spooky!!!! I will be participating in Blogtober!!! I am really excited to spend this month really focusing on my content on all of my platforms! I will be trying to post everyday to this blog, and both of my youtube channels. In order to make this content feasible for me, I will be scheduling some things ahead of time!!

Here are some seasonal lolita ideas!

Embroider pumpkins and fall leaves onto little items or projects
Make a pumpkin or apple spice mix, throw it into different recipes throughout the season
Bake an apple pie! It will smell amazing!
Get some cute gourds to decorate your home in a seasonal way!
Talk a walk through a graveyard,
Make some spooky themed accessories, oranges are a unique color for lolita and can help some of your red dresses be coorded in ways that reflect the changing leaves.
Watch some creepy cute movies like the Nightmare Before Christmas, Coraline, and the Corpse Bride
Learn a warm craft! Try knitting, crocheting or needle felting!

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5 Years in Lolita Fashion

I had some thoughts the other day while filming a youtube video and looking back on my time in Lolita Fashion, I joined right after the end of the livejournal days and when there were still a lot of big name Lolita fashion blogs active. I joined when Princess Peachie still posted videos about the fashion regularly. I have been actively participating in the community for 4 years and started wearing the fashion on my own 5 years ago. However, I now just barely feel like I have cobbled together a fully functional wardrobe. I know logically that lolita fashion takes time to collect due to the cost and how small the pieces are compared to my mid size frame. However, it still sometimes leaves me feeling like some kind of a fraud somehow.

I recently have started making lolita fashion content under the username lilianarowena pretty exclusively although that’s been my online presence for many years now and I am starting to see some traction in gaining a following which I am so grateful for. I really want to make making content a big part of my life and if things continue the way they have been there could be a chance! Then the good old impostor syndrome kicks in, I only have 3 pairs of tea parties and I still have so many accessories to collect, how can I call myself a lolita? How can I even begin to share my experiences with others when I don’t have that perfectly curated wardrobe that I’ve always dreamed of? But I feel like maybe that’s why I should share my experiences and that there is more to being a lolita than just the clothing.

I think there’s space in the online community for those who are in the middle or even just beginning their journey with the fashion, I would love to see more of it! It can be really scary as things often seem nitpicky online but I think it would be worth it. I also, as a lifestyle lolita believe that being a lolita also has to do with who you are as a person, not just the clothing you wear. I think for me that means doing your best to live your life like a princess or maiden or other romantic idea you wish to dream with. I think being a lolita is being able to romanticize your own life while still being kind and helpful to those around you. This doesn’t mean you should be a doormat, in fact I think demonstrating healthy boundaries is a very royal thing to do. Do no harm, but take no shit. Being a lolita is knowing that you can treat yourself and treasure yourself and in no way is that selfish, those who truly treasure you will know that. I have found so much in myself by being a part of this community and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Living in this kind of a way has allowed my to become overall a stronger person and overcome things that would have crushed me otherwise. It has also allowed me to delight the people around me. I have been getting my apartment set up and my choice to let myself decorate to my hearts content without constraint has made my friends day. I have an old oak bureau covered in fairy lights and butterflies, I put glow stars in my bedroom so that when I go to sleep I have the night sky with me. I have cherry blossom decorations across doorways and pink beaded curtains and when I get home to my apartment it feels like my own little palace even if in reality I am an entry level worker with her first job right out of college in the middle of a pandemic. I am transported to a new reality and I am able to take others with me there. I don’t want to let go of this part of me as I grow. I know that I may not always see life this way but for now I want to dream big and treasure these feelings I have.

As a little girl I dreamed I was a long lost princess, I didn’t have very good memory before the age of 9 so it seemed plausible to me. Some of my favorite movies were The Princess Diaries and like Mia, I was waiting to be told that I was the future ruler of Genovia. Anastasia is still my favorite animated princess. Unfortunately as time wore on, these things never turned out to be true. Then I found this fashion and realized that even if I wasn’t actual royalty I could become a princess in the sense that I always wanted to. Someone who was kind, strong, beautiful and cared about other people. Someone who could treasure and care for herself and saw herself as the beautiful gem she was. I had really bad self esteem when I was younger. I acted like the version of myself that I thought other people wanted. I would morph into whoever anyone wanted me to be. I just wanted to be loved, and never felt that I was. I didn’t think I was worthy of being loved, so I never really wanted to be anything. I just wanted to escape to where I felt like I was at home, but I never really knew where that was. Then I saw this fashion for the first time and it was like getting to meet myself for the very first time. I saw the culture that surrounded it and when I read the pages these women wrote I saw myself reflected and transformed. I saw it and whispered quietly in my heart “That…. that’s who I want to be….”

I’ve been on a mission to become that ever since. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like I’m there but perhaps the journey is more important than the end goal in this case. I love running this blog, as it really reminds me of the time period that I first got into lolita fashion. I hope to keep posting more in the future. Thank you for listening to my thoughts. Have a wonderful day

Liliana

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5 Video Games that Give of Lolita Fashion Energy

5.) Child of Light

I haven’t actually finished it but it is such a beautiful game and it’s fairy tale theme lends itself well to inspiring a lot of the same motifs and energy that lolita fashion gives off. Also you can play multiplayer with a mouse!

4.) Pokemon

Your comm is full of fairytale girls and ghost type trainers. It’s just a fact of life. I swear the DS and then the switch are the official gaming consoles of lolitas.

3.) Neko Atsume

This games time I’m fairly sure has passed but it was super cute and cat prints are always bloodbath releases

2.) Animal Crossing

Every person in my comm either has this game or wants this game, also you can wear lolita fashion in the game!!

1.) Love Nikki

This is the most intricate and plot heavy dress up game I have ever seen and I love it to pieces, I am again late to the party but it is so fun! Also you can collect lolita dresses in game.

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Moving Out, Moving On

Tonight, I am moving into my very first apartment. I have been bringing my stuff over for the past couple days but it isn’t the same as actually spending my first night there. This is a goal I had for myself since the beginning of my senior year of college. I wanted to say that I moved out of my parents place Sept 1st, I wanted to show that I was going to be a successful adult and I wanted my parents to be proud of me. Especially since earlier on in the year I decided that I was no longer going to go to graduate school right away. If ever. I am excited but there’s a lot I didn’t expect, and with that there’s also this genuine feeling of grief.

I expected my fiance would be coming with me earlier in the year. I’ve known for a while now that he wasn’t ready yet and that is 100% okay. I want him to be able to take the time to work on himself and I didn’t want to rush him. However, that changed the picture I had in my head last September when I set this goal for myself. I never expected that my first apartment I would be living alone. Earlier in quarantine one of my best friends said she’d love to be my roommate and that still stands true but in the current economy it just wasn’t realistic for her skill set. So, now I move out to go live alone. I won’t be able to have any pets either. I have never before in my life lived by myself, some of it is super exciting like being able to choose to have a whole room I can dedicate to my Youtube/Tiktok/Instagram content and being able to decorate in a way that I will love. (I have ordered so much pink stuff and fanart) It’s also very scary though, I haven’t talked about it a lot online but I do have some mental health challenges, mainly ADHD and an undiagnosed blob of anxiety and feeling outside of reality when things get really stressful and being by myself, I don’t know how my brain will respond to that honestly.

Although it’s scary I do genuinely think I was ready to go though, this next step has been pushing me to make healthy changes already. I called to meet with my primary care provider for the first time in years and I’m actively looking for a therapist again. I’ve also been way more careful with my money and there is genuine joy in getting to provide a nice place for my siblings to go from time to time. I think one of the hardest things about moving for me is that I have grown very close to my 4 younger siblings that live with me and that my home has 7 other people that live there! I have been surrounded with a pretty big family for the past 11 years after my oldest younger sister that lives with me (let’s call her Usagi cause she looks just like Sailor Moon) was born. Before Usagi was born I was pretty much an only child since my family was split and my other sister lived with my other parent. Ever since then I’ve always felt like I had a solid role in my house as an older sister and being that oldest sister has always been a key part of my identity in ways I didn’t realize. Of course moving doesn’t mean that I won’t be their older sister, heck I picked out my current car in order to make sure I could fit them all in it so I could bring my little siblings to my new apartment to play D&D. I guess it’s just overwhelming to realize that it will just be my and my thoughts way more of the time. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. I guess I will just have to find out.

I also feel like there is this sense of grief for childhood. I never really felt like a kid, I don’t know if anyone does really. Looking back on it, I don’t remember anything before the age of nine and a lot of my childhood is characterized by a sense of guilt of not being able to be everywhere at the same time since I was in a split family and loved all of my parents. There was a ton of great stuff too, I remember getting spoiled with books from my dad and showing off how fast I could read things and going on family trips. It’s a bittersweet mix of memories and now I am an adult. Legally you become an adult at 18 or 21 depending on where you live but me having my own place, car, phone, health insurance and life makes it really feel like childhood is truly over. I’m also in a place my parents really didn’t get to be, which makes me feel proud of us all. I just have no blueprint on where you go from here. The more I look around it seems no one does and that scares me. Although I can seem like quite the spontaneous person I like to know what the expectations are, and there just isn’t any to be had. Or not any that I like. It’s exciting and terrifying to know you can carve your own path and I guess I’m just afraid of wasting it. What if I botch it? I only get to exist in this life, in this time, with these people one time. I’m terrified that I will waste this or mess it up. Then I wonder if you live genuinely can you ever actually waste your time? So I suppose there is only one thing I can do is to live my life as true to myself as I can and being the best person I can be. I have to trust that my God and Goddess will take care of the rest.

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The Special Attachment to Lolita Fashion Items

I am for the first time ever as a Lolita selling some of my clothes. I am going to be moving out of my family’s home soon and as I went through all of my things I realized that it was time to let go of not just my normal things but to also go through my lolita fashion. It was more emotional than I was expecting, almost every item that didn’t make the cut has a story connected to it. Lolita Fashion has been a core part of my life for the past 5 years and although I am still learning a lot about it everything in my wardrobe on some level has a deep meaning to me.

For many individuals outside of the fashion it could be hard to understand why one would be so attached to their clothing. Although many people have sentimental items of clothing I believe that Lolita Fashion engenders a special kind of attachment to the clothing that people purchase. For many Lolitas buying the clothes is more than just buying a dress. It can feel like achieving a sense of identity and community and finally feeling like yourself. It’s a special something about these clothes that has made people fall in love. In a way selling my lolita fashion items feels like a breakup. An acknowledgement that it’s time to move on from things, and that’s hard. Clothing that has never fit is finally leaving my closet, to make space for my life to be more organized and my wardrobe more optimized, but the memories baked into all of the seams of the clothing I’ll be selling will be hard to say goodbye to.

I love clothes so I go through my clothing fairly often I would say and although I do have sentimental value with a lot of my clothes nothing really compared to the feeling of going through my wardrobe finally. I said goodbye to my first Angelic Pretty item, it never fit but I was so happy to receive it, I said goodbye to a dress I got in a lot from a very kind member of my comm, I said goodbye to my first attempt at a casual coord. However as I went through this, my more rational senses came to me and I knew that saying goodbye to the items themselves doesn’t mean saying goodbye to all of the early memories of lolita fashion. Those are a part of me now, and I had a blast doing all of those things and even if one day I decide to leave the fashion all together (which I doubt will ever happen) I have every wonderful experience that being in this community has given me