- Listen to Etiquette podcasts while you cook, during chores and during your commute it’s an excellent way to sharpen your conversation and social skills. My favorites are Schmanners and Awesome Etiquette.
- Many classical books are in the public domain, search around to find free ebook versions to read to brush up on your literature knowledge
- Watch Youtube tutorials of traditional skills, find tutorials on how to sew, draw, craft, bake and cook! There’s a plethora of information around the internet.
- Start a blog! Lolita Fashion despite a lot of emphasis on historical influence has had a rich history of a thriving online community, a blog gives you a place to share and reflect
- Learn how to make fancy documents on different computer programs, use special fonts in personal emails and create cute personalized print outs to help organize your life. (Make sure the emails are still readable!)
- Run a fashion instagram where you share your favorite photos and moments
- Join facebook communities to learn more about the fashion, there are a plethora to choose from.
Tag: lolita fashion
1.) Have a Spooky Movie Marathon over Zoom, you may need to restart the meeting a few times if no one in your comm has the premium version. Make sure to pick movies ahead of time that people feel comfortable with and that people are willing to talk over, as it is a social affair!
2.) Play a spooky rpg session over discord! Have a DM in your comm? Plan a D&D or other rpg session and try to plan your coords around the theme and your character!
3.) Have an Animal Crossing “Trick or Treat!” Animal Crossing seems to be a very popular video game among lolitas and there’s a good chance that people in your comm have it! Try to collect the seasonal items throughout the month and decorate your islands in a festive way. Make sure to visit everyone’s island who wants their island to be seen!
4.) Have a bakeoff in your own kitchen with spooky treats!! Talk while you bake and and show off your treats when you’re done!
5.) Share directions of a craft with the group, perhaps bat embroidery or flower crowns with skulls inside. Chat while you make them and show them off if they go well and laugh if they go badly
7:00am – Wake Up and Get Dressed in the coord I laid out the night before
8:00am – Eat Breakfast and Read Etiquette Guides
9:00am – Go for a walk in nature and reflect on myself
10:00am – Exercise
11:00am – Practice an Instrument
11:30am – Practice a language
12:00pm – Lunch
12:30 – Chores
1:00pm – Drawing
2:00pm – Sewing
3:00pm – Play a video game
4:00pm – Shopping
5:00pm – Dinner
6:00pm – Reading and Relaxing
7:00pm – Call a friend
8:00pm – Bathing and Getting Ready for Bed
9:00pm – Write in Journal
10:00pm – Free time
11:00pm – Sleep
This week I got to spend a wonderful couple of days celebrating my anniversary, Mabon and Bi Visibility Day with the love of my life and one of the things we did was watch a new anime together. We watched Love, Chunibyo and Other Delusions. It appears to be a seasonal anime that didn’t gain as much traction as others I have seen. (Also as a disclaimer on this post, I haven’t quite finished the show yet) It has a really unique premise of exploring the concept of Chunibyo, or “Middle Schooler Syndrome” the time period where some young people pretend or believe themselves to be magical creatures and otherworldly beings in order to feel like they have importance in the world. I experienced some of this myself and would argue that how I live now is just a more matured version of this idea.
In the series, there is a Gothic Lolita who emulates being a dark magician and lives her life in this idea to the bafflement and confusion of those around her. She is genuinely happy. Other characters in the show did similar things in the past, the protagonist having once been the The Dark Flame Master. However when he thinks of his past he is embarrassed and ashamed and wants to hide that part of himself from the world in order to be perceived as normal. Even though as the show goes on it becomes clear that that part of himself makes him happy and he starts to find a middle ground as well as helping his friend become a bit more grounded herself.
I was just really excited to see a character in Lolita Fashion because whenever I do I just get really excited however there was a line in the show that convinced me that I had to write more about it than just contain it in a listicle. In one scene a character asks the protagonist why Rika (the lolita) acts and dresses the way that she does and he responds, “I think she has to be like that, I think that there’s something in her life that it protects her from, something she wouldn’t be able to handle without it.” It resonated with me deeply and made me happy to see that he seemed to understand her in some way.
I think of myself as a maiden in training to be a magical princess, really and truly. This concept is something that I shape my life around. Now I have my own very specific idea of what this means but it’s important to me and genuinely helps me get through my life especially in this time of transition personally and upheaval globally. Now I know that this concept is far more metaphorical than anything else but it makes it no less real to me. I’m proud of this part of myself and every time in a coord at the grocery store and a little kid points and says, “look it’s a princess!!” my heart soars. I don’t allow this to limit me though, I still go to the gym and goof around because to me, of course a princess must be a well rounded and practical individual as well. It’s an ideal to aspire to, while simultaneously being who I am. I know that I am not the only lolita who has lived by this notion and I’m certainly not the only one right now. I just see less and less content that looks like this as my time in this fashion continues.
It seems as if the community has a collective embarrassment of how we once participated in the fashion. There is plenty of nostalgia for it too, but there seems to be such an effort by the modern wave of lolitas to appear as normal and respectable. In some realms this is understandable and I support it fully. For example, I am very proud of the egl community for how fiercely it defends it’s members and protects minors and those who don’t want unconsenting sexual conduct or content. I appreciate that due to this we have been able to create some spaces where we can enjoy our fashion in relative peace. In other realms, it saddens me. For example, it seems like many larger lolita fashion content creators when asked if they are lifestylers do their very best to distance themselves from the term and from the image of that. I know it isn’t their intention but in some ways it seems to be a disdain for the concept as a whole. It seems as if they are saying “Don’t worry, it’s only clothes.” Where for me, it will never be just only clothes. There is nothing wrong with just wearing the fashion as lolita fashion has always had this split inside of it, I just miss seeing people proudly declare that they were a lifestyle lolita. In the same way that some people are goth.
People who I once followed for being lifestylers also seemed to grow tired of their old images and daydreams, and again it is totally okay to grow and change but in many of these places it seems like there is almost a shame for who they used to be. It saddens me to see people be ashamed of versions of themselves that I loved and learned from. It’s okay to change, but don’t beat yourself up for who you have been, even if you don’t want to be that person anymore. Honestly, this blog is an attempt for me to relive those moments I had reading old blogs. When I return to them more and more links are broken and it feels like the tradition of lolita blogging is on the way out. I am so happy that I found new blogs to follow on here though, I’m grateful for the parts of our community that hold on to some of the spirit that I fell in love with. I’ll be sure to do my part as well.
I may change my mind in the future and if I do that’s okay, but for as long as I desire I promise not to deprive myself of my dream of being a magical princess.
I had some thoughts the other day while filming a youtube video and looking back on my time in Lolita Fashion, I joined right after the end of the livejournal days and when there were still a lot of big name Lolita fashion blogs active. I joined when Princess Peachie still posted videos about the fashion regularly. I have been actively participating in the community for 4 years and started wearing the fashion on my own 5 years ago. However, I now just barely feel like I have cobbled together a fully functional wardrobe. I know logically that lolita fashion takes time to collect due to the cost and how small the pieces are compared to my mid size frame. However, it still sometimes leaves me feeling like some kind of a fraud somehow.
I recently have started making lolita fashion content under the username lilianarowena pretty exclusively although that’s been my online presence for many years now and I am starting to see some traction in gaining a following which I am so grateful for. I really want to make making content a big part of my life and if things continue the way they have been there could be a chance! Then the good old impostor syndrome kicks in, I only have 3 pairs of tea parties and I still have so many accessories to collect, how can I call myself a lolita? How can I even begin to share my experiences with others when I don’t have that perfectly curated wardrobe that I’ve always dreamed of? But I feel like maybe that’s why I should share my experiences and that there is more to being a lolita than just the clothing.
I think there’s space in the online community for those who are in the middle or even just beginning their journey with the fashion, I would love to see more of it! It can be really scary as things often seem nitpicky online but I think it would be worth it. I also, as a lifestyle lolita believe that being a lolita also has to do with who you are as a person, not just the clothing you wear. I think for me that means doing your best to live your life like a princess or maiden or other romantic idea you wish to dream with. I think being a lolita is being able to romanticize your own life while still being kind and helpful to those around you. This doesn’t mean you should be a doormat, in fact I think demonstrating healthy boundaries is a very royal thing to do. Do no harm, but take no shit. Being a lolita is knowing that you can treat yourself and treasure yourself and in no way is that selfish, those who truly treasure you will know that. I have found so much in myself by being a part of this community and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Living in this kind of a way has allowed my to become overall a stronger person and overcome things that would have crushed me otherwise. It has also allowed me to delight the people around me. I have been getting my apartment set up and my choice to let myself decorate to my hearts content without constraint has made my friends day. I have an old oak bureau covered in fairy lights and butterflies, I put glow stars in my bedroom so that when I go to sleep I have the night sky with me. I have cherry blossom decorations across doorways and pink beaded curtains and when I get home to my apartment it feels like my own little palace even if in reality I am an entry level worker with her first job right out of college in the middle of a pandemic. I am transported to a new reality and I am able to take others with me there. I don’t want to let go of this part of me as I grow. I know that I may not always see life this way but for now I want to dream big and treasure these feelings I have.
As a little girl I dreamed I was a long lost princess, I didn’t have very good memory before the age of 9 so it seemed plausible to me. Some of my favorite movies were The Princess Diaries and like Mia, I was waiting to be told that I was the future ruler of Genovia. Anastasia is still my favorite animated princess. Unfortunately as time wore on, these things never turned out to be true. Then I found this fashion and realized that even if I wasn’t actual royalty I could become a princess in the sense that I always wanted to. Someone who was kind, strong, beautiful and cared about other people. Someone who could treasure and care for herself and saw herself as the beautiful gem she was. I had really bad self esteem when I was younger. I acted like the version of myself that I thought other people wanted. I would morph into whoever anyone wanted me to be. I just wanted to be loved, and never felt that I was. I didn’t think I was worthy of being loved, so I never really wanted to be anything. I just wanted to escape to where I felt like I was at home, but I never really knew where that was. Then I saw this fashion for the first time and it was like getting to meet myself for the very first time. I saw the culture that surrounded it and when I read the pages these women wrote I saw myself reflected and transformed. I saw it and whispered quietly in my heart “That…. that’s who I want to be….”
I’ve been on a mission to become that ever since. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like I’m there but perhaps the journey is more important than the end goal in this case. I love running this blog, as it really reminds me of the time period that I first got into lolita fashion. I hope to keep posting more in the future. Thank you for listening to my thoughts. Have a wonderful day
Liliana
5.) Child of Light
I haven’t actually finished it but it is such a beautiful game and it’s fairy tale theme lends itself well to inspiring a lot of the same motifs and energy that lolita fashion gives off. Also you can play multiplayer with a mouse!
4.) Pokemon
Your comm is full of fairytale girls and ghost type trainers. It’s just a fact of life. I swear the DS and then the switch are the official gaming consoles of lolitas.
3.) Neko Atsume
This games time I’m fairly sure has passed but it was super cute and cat prints are always bloodbath releases
2.) Animal Crossing
Every person in my comm either has this game or wants this game, also you can wear lolita fashion in the game!!
1.) Love Nikki
This is the most intricate and plot heavy dress up game I have ever seen and I love it to pieces, I am again late to the party but it is so fun! Also you can collect lolita dresses in game.
It’s a bit late in the summer for this post but as August is often the hottest month of the year where I live, I don’t think it is too late. Here’s a list of tips I have found that help me in the summer in lolita fashion
1.) Use your natural hair
Wigs are very fashionable in lolita fashion especially for OTT sweet coords, however all that extra hair can add a lot more heat to your head. This could be a great time to experiment with using your own hair and learning new hairstyles. If you must wear a wig, I recommend using a mesh wig cap and experimenting with shorter styles like a bob or a wig with shorter clip in ponytails to keep excess hair off your neck and excess bulk
2.) Use more natural makeup looks and a good setting spray
This can help prevent a heavy caked on feeling when your makeup starts to melt off your face. A good heavy duty setting spray can also help keep your makeup in place and from smudging when it starts to melt. Plus it’s harder to smudge if you have less on, colors closer to your skin tone are less noticeable when they start to smudge or fade.
3.) Trade a fluffy petticoat for a hoop skirt
I bought a short hoop skirt designed for lolita fashion this summer and it is one of the best purchases I have made. It has kept wearing lolita an option for many more days throughout this summer and helps keep the fabric off your legs just as much as a petticoat.
4.) Short frilly socks!
I’m usually a fan of these anyways but shorter socks or very light tights will help keep your legs from roasting! Knee highs vary in material but I always find I feel much hotter when they are on instead of shorter socks in the summer
5.) Short sleeve cotton blouses or chiffon blouses
I sadly don’t have the pleasure of owning on of those cute frilly chiffon stretch blouses yet but I imagine they are also an option that can help you beat the heat. Right now I own 3 short sleeve bodyline cotton blouses and they are my go to for the summer.
6.) Drink Water
This is just a general life tip but it is even more important wearing lolita although there are ways to stay cooler it is inherently going to be more hot than if you were to wear a crop top and shorts. Make sure not to get dehydrated and drink a bit more water than you normally would
7.) Wear more coords with skirts and blouses
This helps minimize the layers on different parts of your body, it only does this by a little bit but I have found that it does help. Alternatively you could try a blouseless coord, although I myself have not been so brave
8.) Wear an Undershirt
This one seems to contradict the top but this is more to save the integrity of your clothing. It’s a true fact that when it gets hot people tend to sweat and this could spell trouble for any of your light colored clothing. The undershirt will help absorb the sweat and keep there from being any embarrassing sweat stains
9.) Keep accessories to a minimum
Obviously a good lolita coord will require some basic accessories but in trying to beat the heat less is more. The less items you have on your body the less ways your body heat gets trapped
10.) Stay Safe
These are a few of my own tips but you should know your own limits. Lolita is not worth getting heat exhaustion or a heat stroke. You can always wear a coord for a few hours and change. If it truly is too hot that day, take a flatlay pic and look forward to the next day you’re able to wear it safely.
I am for the first time ever as a Lolita selling some of my clothes. I am going to be moving out of my family’s home soon and as I went through all of my things I realized that it was time to let go of not just my normal things but to also go through my lolita fashion. It was more emotional than I was expecting, almost every item that didn’t make the cut has a story connected to it. Lolita Fashion has been a core part of my life for the past 5 years and although I am still learning a lot about it everything in my wardrobe on some level has a deep meaning to me.
For many individuals outside of the fashion it could be hard to understand why one would be so attached to their clothing. Although many people have sentimental items of clothing I believe that Lolita Fashion engenders a special kind of attachment to the clothing that people purchase. For many Lolitas buying the clothes is more than just buying a dress. It can feel like achieving a sense of identity and community and finally feeling like yourself. It’s a special something about these clothes that has made people fall in love. In a way selling my lolita fashion items feels like a breakup. An acknowledgement that it’s time to move on from things, and that’s hard. Clothing that has never fit is finally leaving my closet, to make space for my life to be more organized and my wardrobe more optimized, but the memories baked into all of the seams of the clothing I’ll be selling will be hard to say goodbye to.
I love clothes so I go through my clothing fairly often I would say and although I do have sentimental value with a lot of my clothes nothing really compared to the feeling of going through my wardrobe finally. I said goodbye to my first Angelic Pretty item, it never fit but I was so happy to receive it, I said goodbye to a dress I got in a lot from a very kind member of my comm, I said goodbye to my first attempt at a casual coord. However as I went through this, my more rational senses came to me and I knew that saying goodbye to the items themselves doesn’t mean saying goodbye to all of the early memories of lolita fashion. Those are a part of me now, and I had a blast doing all of those things and even if one day I decide to leave the fashion all together (which I doubt will ever happen) I have every wonderful experience that being in this community has given me
I have been in Lolita for a few years now, but I am still learning a lot and my wardrobe has grown rather slowly from the restrictions of being a student both in high school and college. I also have a tendency to impulse buy random things that catch my eye. I’m attracted to the idea of minimalism but I love the aesthetics of elegance and opulence and I am often torn. I watched a really helpful video by the Stitchess about making a wardrobe table and it has been monumentally helpful in guiding some of my purchases. I did impulse buy a couple things recently but I am quite proud to say that it all fits in my table!
| Mint | Purple | Sax | Pink | Black | White | Red | Beige | Navy | |
| OP | Qi Fanplusfriend/Haenuli Phantom | 2 Fanplusfriend | Cheval de Bois | ||||||
| JSK | Secret Hospital | Bodyline Cat Piano/Swan dress | Bodyline | ||||||
| Blouse | Strawberry Witch(Just Bought) | Bodyline | Bodyline | ||||||
| Socks | BtSSB | ||||||||
| Shoes | Offbrand + Angelic Pretty Wedges | Witch Heels | Covergirl Heels | ||||||
| Tights | Plain Offbrand | ||||||||
| Bows | Angelic Pretty | ||||||||
| Skirt | AP Gelato | Love Nadia (Just Bought) | F+F Underskirt | F+F Doctor Who |
As you can see, I really need some socks. So I now know that looking at this chart that if I want to be able to coord more with my current pieces, I should focus on some socks and shoes and that I’m doing well on filling in my blouses! I’m trying the keep it 1-2 items per category.
I find that this system gives some focus to what was feeling like an increasingly cluttered wardrobe as I love all 3 of the main substyles of lolita fashion. In the future I also want to make a separate accessories table but I need to organize and since all jewelry could technically go with lolita fashion it’s going to be a longer process. Ialso don’t know if it makes more sense to organize by theme or color
On my immediate wardrobe workhorse wishlist in order of priority
- Socks!!!! I need so many more socks
- Shoes
- More petticoats
- Accessories that match more coord themes
- Things that I can work into more work wardrobe
By using this in the future I hope that I can maximize the usefulness of my wardrobe in the future and keep improving my coords! I’m also trying to use up my scrap pile to make some items to fill out this table. I want to practice my sewing skills and minimize spending and trips out. I look forward to sharing those
I have really enjoyed using this system to organize my purchases and my wardrobe and I highly recommend it!
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In being sent home from college suddenly, I found myself thrust into my childhood bedroom and pretty much everything about it felt wrong. So I took it upon myself to do something I have wanted to do for a long time. I completely “lolified” my room, although I love wearing sweet and gothic classic aesthetics have been starting to really appeal to me! So I took it and ran with it and gave my room a classic x sweet makeover. I didn’t think to take some before pictures unfortunately but I’m delighted to show what it looks like now!
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I used a lot of wrapping paper and double sided tape for the walls as I was asked not to paint them! It’s not perfect but the results make me really happy. Have any of you decorated your rooms with the lolita aesthetic in mind? How’d you do it?
Luna By The Lake With Cake 