So I decided to try one of the hairstyles in the video below!! It seemed a good cross of some of my interests!
I decided to try to do the heart buns!! They’re a bit messy since my hair is shorter but I think it’s cute!
Tag: egl
Like many Lolitas I struggle with both overspending and mental health issues, it’s often a common theme in jokes in the community and I have talked about it before on my channel and in this blog but due to a recent bout of extreme overspending I thought it was due time I talk about it again.
I don’t want to be a hypocrite, I’ve talked about financial responsibility and Lolita fashion many times on my platforms and I always say I want to do better and I have overall gotten better but I’m still not where I want to be yet and sometimes that makes me feel fake when I want to have these discussions. Also my improvement can feel agonizingly slow or minute, the biggest example is that my last spending binge was on blouses not dresses and that genuinely felt like a win for me even though it caused me to be late on paying my car payment.
Admitting that so publicly feels embarrassing but in a space where overspending is normalized and sometimes I feel like it’s glamorized too, I think it’s important we talk about these things in a serious way from time to time. It’s okay to joke around to cope but I feel like there is a serious lack of looking at the actual consequences of overspending in this community which for many of us is linked to mental health issues.
My overspending happened when I had to take a break from going to therapy until my new health insurance benefits kick in, and although I was debating whether the hard work in counseling was worth starting again this recent spending binge answered it for me.
There’s nothing wrong with impulse buying a dress that you can actually afford from time to time but when it starts to seriously impact your life you need to take a step back and ask why you are actually doing this. It’s hard and uncomfortable and trust me I’d rather find a new way to transform into a frilly cupcake than to examine deep seated emotional issues (I’m writing this article just as much for me as for you) if you can afford it, I highly reccommend getting professional help and if you aren’t in a place where you can reaching out to a friend who won’t judge you but won’t let you bullshit them.
For this month I’m going to try not to buy any new items, I thought about trying a 6 month spending freeze but I think baby steps will suit me better. Once I start therapy again I’ll definitely be talking to my therapist about ways to avoid this
Jfashion is meant to be fun and a distraction but it’s escapism can easily crash back to reality if it starts to affect your financial health. Take care of yourselves. Have a wonderful night.
I will include a mix of books that I have read and also still want to read, some of these are actually gothic literature and some are just things that remind me of the aesthetic
1.) Dracula
I have actually read this book and there is a lot of surprising details inside of it, at one point a man eats a spider. It is a bit more confusing than I expected but all around highly entertaining and I reccommend
2.) Coraline
It’s a children’s novel but it is genuinely very spooky, it’s a short read and a delight. Also the movie is very cute as well.
3.) Frankenstein
An amazing book that is largely misrepresented in media. I really loved reading it and now understand how it was so frightening to Shelley’s colleague’s at the time. The main theme I gathered from it is if you create life don’t be a deadbeat dad.
4.) Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
I can’t believe that I still haven’t read this book, it’s been on my list for awhile and I want to promise myself to read it this month.
5.) The Haunting of Hill House
I’ve only recently become aquainted with this novel’s existence but the premise of a haunting is a classic and it is on my want to read list
6.) We Have Always Lived in the Castle
This is another on my want to read list as I love psychological thrillers in movie form but haven’t experienced any in book form
7.) Edgar Allen Poe’s Poems
I love all sorts of his poetry and I believe his work to be fairly standard of gothic literature
8.) The Yellow Wallpaper
This is an amazingly disturbing short story that I adore and illustrates a lot of the horror of being a woman in that time period
9.) The Phantom of the Opera
At this point the musical is much more famous but the original novel is very compelling and much more disturbing
10.) The Picture of Dorian Gray
This book is a delight and I didn’t know it was considered gothic literature until very recently, I read it for AP English in high school and it still sticks out in my mind
- Listen to Etiquette podcasts while you cook, during chores and during your commute it’s an excellent way to sharpen your conversation and social skills. My favorites are Schmanners and Awesome Etiquette.
- Many classical books are in the public domain, search around to find free ebook versions to read to brush up on your literature knowledge
- Watch Youtube tutorials of traditional skills, find tutorials on how to sew, draw, craft, bake and cook! There’s a plethora of information around the internet.
- Start a blog! Lolita Fashion despite a lot of emphasis on historical influence has had a rich history of a thriving online community, a blog gives you a place to share and reflect
- Learn how to make fancy documents on different computer programs, use special fonts in personal emails and create cute personalized print outs to help organize your life. (Make sure the emails are still readable!)
- Run a fashion instagram where you share your favorite photos and moments
- Join facebook communities to learn more about the fashion, there are a plethora to choose from.
1.) Have a Spooky Movie Marathon over Zoom, you may need to restart the meeting a few times if no one in your comm has the premium version. Make sure to pick movies ahead of time that people feel comfortable with and that people are willing to talk over, as it is a social affair!
2.) Play a spooky rpg session over discord! Have a DM in your comm? Plan a D&D or other rpg session and try to plan your coords around the theme and your character!
3.) Have an Animal Crossing “Trick or Treat!” Animal Crossing seems to be a very popular video game among lolitas and there’s a good chance that people in your comm have it! Try to collect the seasonal items throughout the month and decorate your islands in a festive way. Make sure to visit everyone’s island who wants their island to be seen!
4.) Have a bakeoff in your own kitchen with spooky treats!! Talk while you bake and and show off your treats when you’re done!
5.) Share directions of a craft with the group, perhaps bat embroidery or flower crowns with skulls inside. Chat while you make them and show them off if they go well and laugh if they go badly
I have ADHD something I’m pretty open about on my social media but this is something that makes caring for my Lolita clothes pretty difficult from time to time and I wanted to share practical advice for making your life easier when you are taking care of your Lolita fashion clothes
1.) Have two laundry baskets, one for clothes that can go through the washer no problem and one for handwash only clothing that way you don’t accidentally ruin petticoats or brand
2.) Don’t be afraid of the washer for more sturdy pieces, but when in doubt line dry.
3.) On that note, have a place where you can easily hang things to dry, I’m blessed to have a porch with a clothesline but if you don’t have that invest in a drying rack that you can set next to a sunny window
4.) Get a clothing steamer, mini iron and ironing board and be sure to store it near your wardrobe so you will actually use it
5.) Pick one day of the week to accomplish hand washing tasks and stick to it that way your brand doesn’t sit in a ball for weeks on end
6.) Don’t be afraid to go professional with more tricky pieces
This week I got to spend a wonderful couple of days celebrating my anniversary, Mabon and Bi Visibility Day with the love of my life and one of the things we did was watch a new anime together. We watched Love, Chunibyo and Other Delusions. It appears to be a seasonal anime that didn’t gain as much traction as others I have seen. (Also as a disclaimer on this post, I haven’t quite finished the show yet) It has a really unique premise of exploring the concept of Chunibyo, or “Middle Schooler Syndrome” the time period where some young people pretend or believe themselves to be magical creatures and otherworldly beings in order to feel like they have importance in the world. I experienced some of this myself and would argue that how I live now is just a more matured version of this idea.
In the series, there is a Gothic Lolita who emulates being a dark magician and lives her life in this idea to the bafflement and confusion of those around her. She is genuinely happy. Other characters in the show did similar things in the past, the protagonist having once been the The Dark Flame Master. However when he thinks of his past he is embarrassed and ashamed and wants to hide that part of himself from the world in order to be perceived as normal. Even though as the show goes on it becomes clear that that part of himself makes him happy and he starts to find a middle ground as well as helping his friend become a bit more grounded herself.
I was just really excited to see a character in Lolita Fashion because whenever I do I just get really excited however there was a line in the show that convinced me that I had to write more about it than just contain it in a listicle. In one scene a character asks the protagonist why Rika (the lolita) acts and dresses the way that she does and he responds, “I think she has to be like that, I think that there’s something in her life that it protects her from, something she wouldn’t be able to handle without it.” It resonated with me deeply and made me happy to see that he seemed to understand her in some way.
I think of myself as a maiden in training to be a magical princess, really and truly. This concept is something that I shape my life around. Now I have my own very specific idea of what this means but it’s important to me and genuinely helps me get through my life especially in this time of transition personally and upheaval globally. Now I know that this concept is far more metaphorical than anything else but it makes it no less real to me. I’m proud of this part of myself and every time in a coord at the grocery store and a little kid points and says, “look it’s a princess!!” my heart soars. I don’t allow this to limit me though, I still go to the gym and goof around because to me, of course a princess must be a well rounded and practical individual as well. It’s an ideal to aspire to, while simultaneously being who I am. I know that I am not the only lolita who has lived by this notion and I’m certainly not the only one right now. I just see less and less content that looks like this as my time in this fashion continues.
It seems as if the community has a collective embarrassment of how we once participated in the fashion. There is plenty of nostalgia for it too, but there seems to be such an effort by the modern wave of lolitas to appear as normal and respectable. In some realms this is understandable and I support it fully. For example, I am very proud of the egl community for how fiercely it defends it’s members and protects minors and those who don’t want unconsenting sexual conduct or content. I appreciate that due to this we have been able to create some spaces where we can enjoy our fashion in relative peace. In other realms, it saddens me. For example, it seems like many larger lolita fashion content creators when asked if they are lifestylers do their very best to distance themselves from the term and from the image of that. I know it isn’t their intention but in some ways it seems to be a disdain for the concept as a whole. It seems as if they are saying “Don’t worry, it’s only clothes.” Where for me, it will never be just only clothes. There is nothing wrong with just wearing the fashion as lolita fashion has always had this split inside of it, I just miss seeing people proudly declare that they were a lifestyle lolita. In the same way that some people are goth.
People who I once followed for being lifestylers also seemed to grow tired of their old images and daydreams, and again it is totally okay to grow and change but in many of these places it seems like there is almost a shame for who they used to be. It saddens me to see people be ashamed of versions of themselves that I loved and learned from. It’s okay to change, but don’t beat yourself up for who you have been, even if you don’t want to be that person anymore. Honestly, this blog is an attempt for me to relive those moments I had reading old blogs. When I return to them more and more links are broken and it feels like the tradition of lolita blogging is on the way out. I am so happy that I found new blogs to follow on here though, I’m grateful for the parts of our community that hold on to some of the spirit that I fell in love with. I’ll be sure to do my part as well.
I may change my mind in the future and if I do that’s okay, but for as long as I desire I promise not to deprive myself of my dream of being a magical princess.
I have been in Lolita for a few years now, but I am still learning a lot and my wardrobe has grown rather slowly from the restrictions of being a student both in high school and college. I also have a tendency to impulse buy random things that catch my eye. I’m attracted to the idea of minimalism but I love the aesthetics of elegance and opulence and I am often torn. I watched a really helpful video by the Stitchess about making a wardrobe table and it has been monumentally helpful in guiding some of my purchases. I did impulse buy a couple things recently but I am quite proud to say that it all fits in my table!
| Mint | Purple | Sax | Pink | Black | White | Red | Beige | Navy | |
| OP | Qi Fanplusfriend/Haenuli Phantom | 2 Fanplusfriend | Cheval de Bois | ||||||
| JSK | Secret Hospital | Bodyline Cat Piano/Swan dress | Bodyline | ||||||
| Blouse | Strawberry Witch(Just Bought) | Bodyline | Bodyline | ||||||
| Socks | BtSSB | ||||||||
| Shoes | Offbrand + Angelic Pretty Wedges | Witch Heels | Covergirl Heels | ||||||
| Tights | Plain Offbrand | ||||||||
| Bows | Angelic Pretty | ||||||||
| Skirt | AP Gelato | Love Nadia (Just Bought) | F+F Underskirt | F+F Doctor Who |
As you can see, I really need some socks. So I now know that looking at this chart that if I want to be able to coord more with my current pieces, I should focus on some socks and shoes and that I’m doing well on filling in my blouses! I’m trying the keep it 1-2 items per category.
I find that this system gives some focus to what was feeling like an increasingly cluttered wardrobe as I love all 3 of the main substyles of lolita fashion. In the future I also want to make a separate accessories table but I need to organize and since all jewelry could technically go with lolita fashion it’s going to be a longer process. Ialso don’t know if it makes more sense to organize by theme or color
On my immediate wardrobe workhorse wishlist in order of priority
- Socks!!!! I need so many more socks
- Shoes
- More petticoats
- Accessories that match more coord themes
- Things that I can work into more work wardrobe
By using this in the future I hope that I can maximize the usefulness of my wardrobe in the future and keep improving my coords! I’m also trying to use up my scrap pile to make some items to fill out this table. I want to practice my sewing skills and minimize spending and trips out. I look forward to sharing those
I have really enjoyed using this system to organize my purchases and my wardrobe and I highly recommend it!
t
Luna By The Lake With Cake 