Content Warning: There will be some discussion of sizing and weight in this post. If that’s triggering to you please skip and do something else that’s nice! If you feel like you’d benefit from reading some thoughts from a plus-size lolita with their relationship to this fashion. Read on!
I went to declutter my wardrobe and the majority of my lolita wardrobe does not fit. I have gained a lot of weight from when I first started this fashion, and also have admittedly lost a considerable amount of tolerance for squeezing myself into clothes. (The second part of that is probably for the best)
First go round I told myself I was going to sell everything that didn’t fit, and then talked myself into keeping most of it. One thing that made this easier to justify is that I am actively trying to lose weight. That isn’t something I discuss on most of my social media as it is kind of a hot-button topic and I am afraid of the responses I could receive if I mention it. This blog is a bit of an exception as I feel like I have a slightly different audience on this site. I’m not trying to get stick thin, in fact I’ll probably still be considered plus size in lolita fashion if I get to where I want to go. (I am intentionally not mentioning numbers)
I have diabetes in my family and limited access to a primary care physician at the moment due to difficulties in the healthcare system where I live. So I want to stay ahead of it. Even though I am genuinely interested in improving my health and lifestyle, I’d be lying if I said vanity didn’t play a part in it. In the future, I’d like to be able to model for a wider range of brands. With all that said, I am fairly committed to this health and weight loss journey even if it’s slow going. Bringing it back to decluttering my wardrobe, this journey makes it very easy to justify keeping things that don’t currently fit.
It’s embarrassing to admit this but I have 2 full totes of clothes that I cannot wear at the moment. A lot of it is back from when I was a teenager, no matter what happens. I’m never gonna fit in that again and that’s alright. But it is still so hard to let it go. There is a lot of sentimental value in those early pieces of my wardrobe, some of it is from my comm members and were some of the first strong connections I made with my local community. In some ways letting those clothes go feels like saying goodbye to an era of who I’ve been. It feels silly to mention this to people I know in day-to-day life who don’t have the same kind of relationship with the clothing they wear. But I feel alright sharing it on here where hopefully someone who may be going through something similar or having similar thoughts won’t feel so alone.
Counter to the above, I’ve recently been aching for a drastic dramatic change in my life and I’ve committed to taking care of myself and trying to grow out my hair and not attack it with scissors or hair dye when I get stressed but I still want that change. So I’m seriously considering “starting over” What would it look like if you had to start over with your lolita wardrobe? Very well may be time for me to find out. It’s both scary and exciting for me and probably more productive than running away. Although I do have fun dreaming about that sometimes. I can’t say with 100% certainty that I am doing this, especially as my town’s post office still hasn’t come back from the flood last year making mailing packages difficult. But if I decide here soon to have a massive sale on my lacemarket, I’ll let you all know.
If I do start over, I want to focus on solid and sturdy pieces, things that are easy to clean and accessories that work across multiple styles. My favorite wardrobe colors have been black, pink, and red recently but I would still want to make sure I had some pastels too. I would want to commit to only keeping pieces that actively fit in my wardrobe available so I won’t be cluttering up my apartment. This would likely mean me needing to accept that many of my dresses wouldn’t be forever if I did keep that commitment. They would also need to change with the seasons of my life as well. I would still keep some things like the dresses that were anniversary gifts from my husband. In some ways the thought of having a free-flowing wardrobe like that itself is freeing and honestly not uncommon in the lolita fashion community. In some ways I feel like an odd ball for clinging so hard to every piece I’ve bought.
Thanks for giving this post a read and remember to eat good food, drink some water, and get some rest. Luna, out!
Luna By The Lake With Cake 