Category: Personal

I finally got a new job, yay! I literally can’t remember if I mentioned it in a prior post or not and I am too lazy at the moment to go back and look at it. Recently I have been reflecting a lot on burnout, like my chronic case of burnout more specifically. I graduated from college in the 2020 pandemic and have been jumping from a high-stress job to a high-stress job since then. Fingers crossed I finally found a winner for more than just a year or two. So far so good and I have a much lighter mental load. With that lighter mental load, I got to reflect on how well I have been doing overall honestly with my mental health. It’s come up on my YouTube channel before some of my challenges in that department. I more recently have chosen to be somewhat more private with the details of my situation but I do still think general conversations on mental health can be helpful too. I also feel generally more comfortable discussing this in blog format.

I realized that I was finally eating better, changing my work situation, keeping my home neater, (just went through a massive declutter I want to write about soon), and overall just doing better. However, I was still exhausted. I realized that I had been so busy first surviving, and then learning how to function, that I am finally ready to take some time to actively recover from years of chronic stress. One problem though is that I don’t exactly know how to do that. A lot of hobbies of mine got put on hold to focus on learning how to function and now that I am returning to them, I am definitely a happier and healthier person than I was a year ago, I am just terrified of losing “momentum” so to speak.

Fortunately, one of my new/old hobbies is being obsessed with the library in all its forms again. I love listening to audiobooks from the library and it turns out there really is a book for everything. I listened to books on decluttering, stress management, and maintaining friendships. A lot of these had these key phrases in them that really stuck with me. For example what finally let me truly declutter was the idea “Making a landfill in your home is no more environmentally friendly than doing it in the dumpster” There was a lot of old craft supplies and ruined fabrics that just had to go. The book that sparked me writing this post was Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle and the idea of a stress cycle is just absolutely revolutionary to me. It’s the idea that dealing with your stressors (thing that is making you stressed) and your stress (the physiological response) are two entirely separate items on your agenda to deal with things like chronic burnout. I have very much not been doing the second thing. Lots of recent research has mentioned that stress and trauma live in our bodies but the concept that you have to actually attend to that body and signal to your body that you are safe now is a completely revolutionary concept to me. Maybe this was common sense to other people but often times it feels like I missed the boat on a lot of regulation things like this.

I’m looking forward to taking this information and trying to build more time into my life to actually release the stress that has all built up in my body and to see what difference it makes. I’m hoping it will eventually allow me to both take care of myself and participate in the hobbies I love consistently.

I have been so busy lately! I had been working a job that was slowly becoming miserable to work at and have put most of my energy and time into getting a new job which I really like so far! I’ve had way more energy for life lately and can’t wait to share that with all of you!

I am also starting to plan my wedding! My husband and I went to the courthouse already since we wanted the financial benefits and we were ready we just need time to save for the big party! I don’t plan on making content around that since I want that to be special. However I may mention it from time to time.

I’ve also recommitted to practicing my guitar and learning Japanese I’m hoping to do some song covers on my YouTube channel in a few months from now. I really missed traditional blogging. It was what really got me into Lolita fashion in the first place and I want to keep up contributing to that part of the community. I can’t wait to share more posts with you this month!

Happy New Year Everyone!! I hope everyone had the best year that they could. It has been a strange and wild ride but overall I had a good year. I now have a job at a company that I love, I have my beautiful apartment my fiance and my amazing animals. I’m hoping next year will be a year of stability for me. On reflecting on this past year, here are my new year’s resolutions!! I kept them flexible so they would be more compatible with my adhd brain.

1.) Post more consistently to my socials without sacrificing my health

I really want to grow my content and my social media, I really love being a content creator and want to do bigger and better things, one thing I really struggle with is over or under committing to my content. So going into this year I plan on having a flexible content strategy that will keep me posting but also keep me from burning out or posting too much.

2.) Finish repairing and altering my lolita fashion wardrobe

My style pile is looming in my craft room, there are a lot of nostalgic wardrobe pieces in there so I’m hoping that will motivate me to keep going on that project

3.) Improve my financial literacy

I just learned how to balance a checkbook from my future mother in law and it has been life-changing! I also started taking personal finance courses and if I had known that credit cards compound daily I may have been more careful in college with it.

4.) Pay off my credit card debt

Speaking of that daily compounding interest, I want to pay my credit card off this year. I got myself into deep trouble with it when I was in college and when I first moved out and was only making 15$ an hour with a one bedroom rental all by myself. It would be nice to have that balance free.

5.) Get to my two planned conventions this year

I have been wanting to go to Mermagic Con and Paradiso for two years now and I am so excited to be going this year! Everything seems to be on track for that! I plan on vlogging both of those events.

6.) Work on improving my physical health

I have been in therapy for years now and am finally happy in my ability to function in my day-to-day life. That was in crisis for a long time in my child, teenage and young adult years. I am so proud of myself for reaching the therapy goals that I had in 2021. Now that that’s settled it’s time for me to start taking care of my body. Diabetes runs in my family and I need to be aware of that, On my lilianarowena accounts you will not be seeing a lot of content on this as I am aware that it could be triggering for some people. I just wanted to include it as it is going to be a big part of my goals this year.

7.) Use a physical planner again

I am the kind of person who is just going to have to use a planner forever. I have accepted this and in 2021 I was using habitica for most of the year. It is a gameified task tracker that got me through college and served me well while it did. However, it still doesn’t have the flexibility or exact design I need to manage my chores, work tasks, social media tasks and other daily habits without being completely overwhelming. So I will be going back to bullet journaling in order to make it as flexible as possible.

Thank you guys for an awesome year! I hope you all have an amazing 2022.