Happy New Year Everyone!! I hope everyone had the best year that they could. It has been a strange and wild ride but overall I had a good year. I now have a job at a company that I love, I have my beautiful apartment my fiance and my amazing animals. I’m hoping next year will be a year of stability for me. On reflecting on this past year, here are my new year’s resolutions!! I kept them flexible so they would be more compatible with my adhd brain.
1.) Post more consistently to my socials without sacrificing my health
I really want to grow my content and my social media, I really love being a content creator and want to do bigger and better things, one thing I really struggle with is over or under committing to my content. So going into this year I plan on having a flexible content strategy that will keep me posting but also keep me from burning out or posting too much.
2.) Finish repairing and altering my lolita fashion wardrobe
My style pile is looming in my craft room, there are a lot of nostalgic wardrobe pieces in there so I’m hoping that will motivate me to keep going on that project
3.) Improve my financial literacy
I just learned how to balance a checkbook from my future mother in law and it has been life-changing! I also started taking personal finance courses and if I had known that credit cards compound daily I may have been more careful in college with it.
4.) Pay off my credit card debt
Speaking of that daily compounding interest, I want to pay my credit card off this year. I got myself into deep trouble with it when I was in college and when I first moved out and was only making 15$ an hour with a one bedroom rental all by myself. It would be nice to have that balance free.
5.) Get to my two planned conventions this year
I have been wanting to go to Mermagic Con and Paradiso for two years now and I am so excited to be going this year! Everything seems to be on track for that! I plan on vlogging both of those events.
6.) Work on improving my physical health
I have been in therapy for years now and am finally happy in my ability to function in my day-to-day life. That was in crisis for a long time in my child, teenage and young adult years. I am so proud of myself for reaching the therapy goals that I had in 2021. Now that that’s settled it’s time for me to start taking care of my body. Diabetes runs in my family and I need to be aware of that, On my lilianarowena accounts you will not be seeing a lot of content on this as I am aware that it could be triggering for some people. I just wanted to include it as it is going to be a big part of my goals this year.
7.) Use a physical planner again
I am the kind of person who is just going to have to use a planner forever. I have accepted this and in 2021 I was using habitica for most of the year. It is a gameified task tracker that got me through college and served me well while it did. However, it still doesn’t have the flexibility or exact design I need to manage my chores, work tasks, social media tasks and other daily habits without being completely overwhelming. So I will be going back to bullet journaling in order to make it as flexible as possible.
Thank you guys for an awesome year! I hope you all have an amazing 2022.
Here are some wigs I have been working on! The first one I did I wanted it to be a cute but low maintenance wig with a color that complimented my skin tone
I first split the wig into to low pigtails and thoroughly brushed each side, then I crimped it for volume brushed it out and braided it together
Here’s what I looks like on
I really loved the results of the first wig so I styled a second one! It was originally a Junko wig but I have been doing a lot more Lolita then Cosplay so I chose to style it more for Lolita fashion instead, although I think it could still work really well for Junko
I first styled this base wig which can be used on its own for casual looks
Then I brushed and straightened the already crimped pig tails
Having recently cut my hair pretty short, I thought about writing a post about how I’m approaching having shorter hair! Head accessories are a key part of lolita fashion and I see a lot of places where newbies will ask about short hair, here’s my two cents!
1.) Headbands
A classic accessory very easily found that won’t overwhelm your head now that there isn’t as much hair to balance it out, you could wear flower crowns, ones with little bows, plain ones, the options are endless
2.) Ponytail Clips
You like having short hair day to day but want to still be able to be OTT sometimes? I reccommend ponytail clips! Like the kind that come with Cosplay wigs, some sellers allow you to buy them individually.
3.) Berets
A personal favorite of mine! Also it seems as if they have been growing in popularity lately, a lot of indie brands will sell them in matching prints to the dresses they sell! I adore my spooky macarons beret from Lady Sloth
4.) Ribbons
Ribbons are super versatile and amazing for casual lolita, you could tie it into a headband, or braid it into your hair.
5.) Themed hair clips
You can use this to decorate a more plain headband or by themselves to make a look more coherent.
❄️ Sew rhinestones onto white accessories or tights for a glittery look that mimics when snowflakes fall onto your hair
❄️ Get bundle up into cute outdoor gear go sledding then drink some hot cocoa
❄️ Put on festive music for whatever winter holiday you celebrate and sing along
❄️ Go on a walk and take pictures of the festive storefronts you see!
❄️ Try baking a pie!! I associate pies with the holidays and with winter
❄️ Watch cute festive movies!
❄️ Do a closet clean out and home declutter, see if there’s anything that your friends may enjoy and give them a gift! (Be sure to be thoughtful though)
❄️ Try using winter themed stickers on your Instagram posts
❄️ Build a snowman!
❄️ Make yarn snowballs and have a faux snowball fight at a meetup
A screenshot from Alice Closet! It’s free and really fun to play
For my last YouTube video I read an article from the Princess Portal “Undefining the Lolita Lifestyle” and it was filled with examples of how lolitas participated in the culture of the fashion even if they weren’t able to purchase or wear the clothing. I also have been seeing a ton of debate on replicas on Tiktok. This inspired me to write this article for aspiring Lolita’s to be for ways they can participate without supporting things that harm the creatives and artists we depend on for our fashion.
6 Free or Very Low Budget Ways to Participate in EGL culture
1.) Decorate your space to match your desired aesthetic!
Often there can be ways to make your room or your home cuter! Take inspiration from lifestyle Lolita’s and “lolify” your space! You can add lace trim, put fake skulls, or put up temporary floral wallpaper, whatever matches your desired aesthetic.
2.) Check out the music associated with your desired substyle, and Visual Kei!
Learn about the musical inspirations behind our styles. Visual Kei helped kick it off for us all but especially for gothic lolitas. If you’re into the gothic substyle, try listening to goth bands. If you’re into the Classic substyle take a look into classical music. If you’re into sweet Lolita take a look at 90s and early 2000s jpop!
3.) Follow Lolitas on social media and on their blogs!
It will go a long way once you get in the position to be able to participate in the fashion portion! You can get different perspectives, fashion inspiration, ideas and opinions all around you. You can check out older blogs to learn about the history of the fashion and look to newer ones to see what’s going on now!
4.) Decorate your electronics!
I’m a big fan of using Picsart to make cute mobile backgrounds for my phone. You can also decorate the outside too! Whatever your aesthetic is, with electronics it can be easy to create and change with your whims.
5.) Start a Fashion Journal or Inspiration Board
This can be physical or digital, take whatever inspires you and put it in a place where you can look at it all together. It can help you plan what you’ll actually want to wear and buy once you get into being in a place where you can participate in the fashion
6.) Check out cute fashion video games!
My absolute favorite for this is Alice Closet, it’s free and the fashion is clearly lolita inspired. It’s a lot of fun and even if you can’t collect physical clothing it’s really fun to collect the digital outfit sets.
I hope this gives you some ideas on how to participate in the community and the culture of lolita fashion even if you are on a completely bare bones shoestring budget. Remember you need to take care of yourself first. This fashion is a luxury hobby and I have gotten myself into too much stress overextending myself. I hope you take these ideas and have lots of fun!
The cheapest way to wash and care for lolita fashion is to do it yourself! If you’re someone like me and wear lolita multiple times a week it becomes very impractical to wash every single item by itself as many guides on washing lolita fashion recommend. Here is what I do when I have a lot of clothes to wash,
A few things to note here,
You will need a tub or an equivalent large container that can hold water
This process is best begun on a morning as it takes about 24 hours to complete
Only use clothing you are absolutely certain won’t bleed, we are mixing colors to achieve bulk washing our clothes
Steps to Wash
1.) Gather all of the lolita clothing that you need into a hamper and bring that hamper to your bathroom
2.) Put your laundry detergent into the bathtub and start filling it with water
3.) Dump that hamper into your tub then even out the pile
4.) Finish filling the tub with water until it just covers all of your clothes
5.) Swish those clothes around and then let them sit for 30 minutes
6.) Once you come back you may notice the water will look yellowish or grayish, that’s sweat and dirt coming out of your clothes
7.) Drain and fill your tub at 30-minute intervals checking the color of the water each time you return, once you are happy with the color of the water it’s time to start the drying process
8.) Now drape your laundry all around the tub to let it drip dry, return later once it is no longer dripping and is now damp.
9.) You will either need a drying rack or a clothesline for this part, now you will take your clothing and hang it up spacing it out as much as you can.
10.) At this point you have the opportunity to save yourself some ironing time down the road, I find if you arrange your pleats and smooth out your dresses you can often prevent wrinkles at this stage.
11.) Leave your dresses to dry overnight and you can put them away in the morning.
I have used this technique multiple times and find it works really well for me! It also has the added bonus of working as a humidifier for my apartment during the dryer months.
I find that being in my local comm gives me a deep sense of community that I wouldn’t have had without this fashion. I find other people who share interests and hobbies with me as well as people into things I would never have dreamed of personally. I adore getting to be part of my local in person community. I think it’s genuinely one of the biggest highlights of the Lolita fashion subculture that we have such an emphasis on going out with others and befriending those who are also in the fashion.
However, I can sometimes see the downside of this sense of community usually popping out online, with a high pressure to conform to others expectations once more but just in the same community. As well as on anonymous places where things like racism, classism, transphobia, and fat phobia that often discourage those who would be seeking to join the egl community.
I think this dichotomy is really interested because for me because to me egl is all about self expression and self love, finding a version of yourself that you can share with the world that has roots in a community. I also know that Lolita fashion isn’t the only subculture that deals with this sort of push and pull between conformity and individuality. I am not a member of the western gothic community but I see a lot of the same things going on over there.
However, there is something you can do to ensure a more positive experience in this community. You can curate the places you are, especially online. If a place is toxic and affecting you negatively, you don’t have to stay there. Especially when it comes to communities online, they will still be there but you don’t have to look at them.
If you’re someone new to the community, I hope you will enjoy your time in the greater egl community. Take your time to enjoy and focus on aspects outside of just getting new things, and enjoy this culture that had been decades in the making.
Good morning, world! I’m participating in this month’s blogging theme of change and gratitude, I really liked the prompt questions so I decided to answer each one!
What are you thankful for in J-fashion and your community?
I am grateful for all of the friends I have made and how they helped me find a sense of identity young in my life. I felt a lot of pressure to be a certain kind of person and I never knew how to navigate the pressures to be hypermasculine or treat myself as an object made for consumption, in Lolita Fashion I found a way to express my femininity in a way that gave me freedom
Have you made any friendships due to this fashion?
I most certainly have!! I joined my comm my freshman year of college and am still friends with all of them today! My comm is some of the sweetest people I’ve ever met and it radiates positivity when I’m with them. I also have been introduced to other hobbies than just lolita with them! Another girl in my comm got me into mermaiding.
Has your life been impacted for the better because of your experiences in J-fashion?
It 110% has been! My life holds so much more positivity and love due to this fashion. This fashion has helped me be able to accept myself as I am, not as what others see me as and it has been a constant journey growing and changing with the world as I have also grown and changed as a person over time my style has come to reflect that. I don’t think I would have as strong of a sense of identity or community if I had never joined the J-fashion community.
How are some ways you’ve changed from when you first started J-fashion?
Considering that I started when I was 16 and am now 23 I have changed quite a lot! When I first started I wanted to perfectly mimic the other girls I saw online and I think that helped me get a sense of the fashion but now I want to make my own look and style within the fashion. I also have grown and matured a lot! I am now a “real adult” I have a 9 to 5 and I pay bills and I rent out a small apartment. I also recently came out as bigender. I think my 16-year-old self just starting out would be really proud of me.
Will you be switching out your wardrobe for colder (or warmer) weather?
Yes, and no. I will just be adding warmer pieces to my coords but I won’t be putting anything away right now. Recently I put into storage all of the pieces that didn’t fit perfectly into storage so I would stop squeezing myself into them so at the moment I don’t have a ton to work with. I imagine I’ll be using my long sleeve blouses and fleece-lined leggings more.
Do you have any holiday plans to see friends/your community?
Yes!! Winter International Lolita Day is coming up and we are having a tea party at a local inn here soon! It will be wonderful, we went for afternoon tea there this summer and it was amazing. I cannot wait to see everyone! We are also doing an ornament exchange that I am super excited about that. My comm decided to do two different gift exchanges this year. We have a secret Santa and then a lower-pressure ornament exchange.
How has this year been different than last year? Are there changes that you are looking forward to going forward?
I think the biggest change this year was coming to terms with my gender identity literally this month. It has been on my mind for about a year now but I kept pushing it to the side because for the most part, I am happy with the body I was born in. So I figured there was no way that I could be trans. However, as I explored more and more I discovered that being called a boy made me really happy. However, I didn’t want to give up being a girl. Then I discovered that being genderfluid or bigender is a thing. That feels really right to me. In the next couple of weeks, I will be taking my first steps to visually and noticeably transitioning. I’m nervous but also excited.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this blog post! I have been really enjoying participating in the Biblioteca blogging community and I highly recommend all of the bloggers in this community! I’ll put a link to last month’s issue below
Luna By The Lake With Cake 