Luna By The Lake With Cake

Coming out of Hibernation: Happy Ostara!

Hello, everybody I have just completed my annual Jan-March disappearance! Despite my birthday being in February, it is always a rough month for me. This year was especially rough, dealing with a death in the family. Today was a beautiful sunny spring day, the first we’ve had in such a long time. I absolutely adored it. I made sure to go on a walk during my break at work. I’ve also been working a lot on a TTRPG campaign for me and my friends. Studying socialist revolutions currently has been an interesting experience. I once heard it said that Ostara is a good time to plant seeds for the rest of the year. I’m thinking of some seeds I want to plant. The biggest one is finding a way to be consistent in multiple creative projects at once. When I focus on one thing it has a tendency to swallow everything else, to all of my other projects detriment. Biggest example recently is that I have been extremely neglecting studying japanese, or working on my social media because I have been hyperfocused on working out, karate and prepping to DM again soon.

The common advice I see is to narrow down what you’re working on, but I am stubborn and don’t want to do that. Plus, life’s short, I want to do and enjoy everything I can about this world while I’m still in it. I just need to continue developing systems to actually pull this off. I’m thinking that I might seriously end up wearing like 3 outfits a day to pull this off. One strategy I’m going to try is planning to wear my office wear to work, changing into Jfashion when I’m at home, and keeping gym clothes on me somehow. I also came up with a dice game for my freetime, which I can roll to determine what I’m going to do for a block of time to try to treat my projects a bit more equally. Actually resulted in me making some Youtube Shorts the other day that I hadn’t planned on. It was really fun, and I discovered that I am someone who might do well with some “forced” inspiration.

I’ll plan on updating as things go on this blog! Also, hopefully you all will see some results from there.

lolita fashion

Kawaii Yoga Strap DIY

I’ve been working out more and have two yoga mats, one of them I lost the strap for and found a cute way of upcycling a scrap of lace I had.

Here’s the strap I sort of copied to make mine

I wrapped the elastic around the yoga mat to get the elastic length, then I laid my lace against the hanging part of the strap to get that length.

I hand stitched the two loops here.

I used a blanket stitch to keep it from fraying.

I sewed a square of stitches to join the lace and elastic, on the side of the raw edge of the lace I used a blanket stitch, and I used a backstitch on the other sides of the square.

My new yoga mat strap!

lolita fashion

DIY Simple Blouse Alteration

Hello everybody!

I recently learned that it is possible for blouses to pop open also if they’re too big. I think this is evil. I bought two blouses with plenty of room to try to avoid the issue and when on a date with my husband this past weekend the wind kept trying to blow it open! I then resolved to buy some snaps and put snaps in between each button. This seems to have worked!

Blue blouse I haven’t added snaps to yet, you can kind of see the gapping here (also excuse my bureau, I hadn’t put stuff away yet)

Pink blouse that doesn’t gap on me anymore!

I bought a ton of snaps, I plan to do this to multiple blouses

I rolled a tailors pencil where I wanted the snaps to be so that it would mark each side at the same time so I would have aligned snaps

I whipped stitch each hole 3 times to secure the snaps on both sides

I am really happy with the results and plan on adding snaps to everything I can at this point!

lolita fashion

Biblioteca October: Mirror

This is a fun theme and also a great chance to show off one of my most prized possessions which happens to be a mirror! I have this big bureau I have had since I was 3 years old that has a giant mirror that sits on top of it! It has historically been somewhat visible in my youtube videos and instagram posts.

Here it is!

Normally I have photos on the shelves as well but I removed them for this picture. It has been a wonderful place to display my knick-knacks. I have had over the years. It’s honestly a comfort object for me which is kind of an odd thing to say about a sheet of glass and metal but I received this from my grandfather who passed away this fall. A lot of the items I have on this vanity/dresser are gifts from relatives who have now passed so in a way it feels like I have the spirit of them with me in this home. To be honest before writing out this blog post I had never thought that hard about why this mirror is so important to me but upon reflection I find my reasons for it to be quite beautiful.

It also just has a great practical use as well! I have used it for coord shots and my husband enjoys using it to check out his outfits for the day as well. The mirror is a separate piece although it goes with the bureau making it easy to move.

I also have a hand mirror and brush that I love as well which I got as a gift from my mom. It’s very useful for checking my work on the back of my head when doing certain hairstyles.

So yeah, here’s my mirrors!

lolita fashion

Considering Actually Doing That One Hypothetical

Content Warning: There will be some discussion of sizing and weight in this post. If that’s triggering to you please skip and do something else that’s nice! If you feel like you’d benefit from reading some thoughts from a plus-size lolita with their relationship to this fashion. Read on!

I went to declutter my wardrobe and the majority of my lolita wardrobe does not fit. I have gained a lot of weight from when I first started this fashion, and also have admittedly lost a considerable amount of tolerance for squeezing myself into clothes. (The second part of that is probably for the best)

First go round I told myself I was going to sell everything that didn’t fit, and then talked myself into keeping most of it. One thing that made this easier to justify is that I am actively trying to lose weight. That isn’t something I discuss on most of my social media as it is kind of a hot-button topic and I am afraid of the responses I could receive if I mention it. This blog is a bit of an exception as I feel like I have a slightly different audience on this site. I’m not trying to get stick thin, in fact I’ll probably still be considered plus size in lolita fashion if I get to where I want to go. (I am intentionally not mentioning numbers)

I have diabetes in my family and limited access to a primary care physician at the moment due to difficulties in the healthcare system where I live. So I want to stay ahead of it. Even though I am genuinely interested in improving my health and lifestyle, I’d be lying if I said vanity didn’t play a part in it. In the future, I’d like to be able to model for a wider range of brands. With all that said, I am fairly committed to this health and weight loss journey even if it’s slow going. Bringing it back to decluttering my wardrobe, this journey makes it very easy to justify keeping things that don’t currently fit.

It’s embarrassing to admit this but I have 2 full totes of clothes that I cannot wear at the moment. A lot of it is back from when I was a teenager, no matter what happens. I’m never gonna fit in that again and that’s alright. But it is still so hard to let it go. There is a lot of sentimental value in those early pieces of my wardrobe, some of it is from my comm members and were some of the first strong connections I made with my local community. In some ways letting those clothes go feels like saying goodbye to an era of who I’ve been. It feels silly to mention this to people I know in day-to-day life who don’t have the same kind of relationship with the clothing they wear. But I feel alright sharing it on here where hopefully someone who may be going through something similar or having similar thoughts won’t feel so alone.

Counter to the above, I’ve recently been aching for a drastic dramatic change in my life and I’ve committed to taking care of myself and trying to grow out my hair and not attack it with scissors or hair dye when I get stressed but I still want that change. So I’m seriously considering “starting over” What would it look like if you had to start over with your lolita wardrobe? Very well may be time for me to find out. It’s both scary and exciting for me and probably more productive than running away. Although I do have fun dreaming about that sometimes. I can’t say with 100% certainty that I am doing this, especially as my town’s post office still hasn’t come back from the flood last year making mailing packages difficult. But if I decide here soon to have a massive sale on my lacemarket, I’ll let you all know.

If I do start over, I want to focus on solid and sturdy pieces, things that are easy to clean and accessories that work across multiple styles. My favorite wardrobe colors have been black, pink, and red recently but I would still want to make sure I had some pastels too. I would want to commit to only keeping pieces that actively fit in my wardrobe available so I won’t be cluttering up my apartment. This would likely mean me needing to accept that many of my dresses wouldn’t be forever if I did keep that commitment. They would also need to change with the seasons of my life as well. I would still keep some things like the dresses that were anniversary gifts from my husband. In some ways the thought of having a free-flowing wardrobe like that itself is freeing and honestly not uncommon in the lolita fashion community. In some ways I feel like an odd ball for clinging so hard to every piece I’ve bought.

Thanks for giving this post a read and remember to eat good food, drink some water, and get some rest. Luna, out!

lolita fashion

Wedding!

Hello everyone! Last month I had my wedding! I’ll only be showing pictures of decorations and myself as my lovely people didn’t necessarily agree to be put on my blog, but it was too pretty not to share with you all.

Here is my outfit for the day!

Then to top it off my cake! I had an absolutely lovely day.

Fashion Tutorials

Managing Hair Breakage

Here’s a general guide I had previously written on protecting hair for a friend; for reference I have type 1A hair and since I do mermaiding I do have some extra things I do to take care of it so it looks nice in and out of the water. Something which has become much easier since I decided to stop dyeing my hair and embrace the natural color.

One thing that helped me a lot was also finding the right shampoo and conditioner for me. I now swear by the L’Oreal total repair 5 line as it’s in my budget and does everything I need it to.

On to the guide!

Managing Breakage

Hair oil at the very tips of your hair can help with breakage if you have a dry hair type (or are mean to your hair like me) . If you do this daily use a light hand as it can easily build up if you have a hair washing schedule of washing your hair every few days or so. Lightly in this case means getting the tips of your fingers saturated with the oil and then gently running it through your hair at the ends. It should just get sucked into your hair, if you can see it you have put too much on. I recommend this method more for hair that is already damaged that you don’t want to cut off.
A better way of preventing damage and you have to be less careful with it is using a daily leave in conditioner. To use one you need to very lightly dampen your hair and then use whatever you would normally use for regular conditioner and run it through the ends. Do not put it on your scalp. It will get stuck there and you will have scalp acne. Which is not fun. (Don’t ask me how I know this 😅)
Loose braids are a great protective style to prevent tangles if you are going to be active during a day. Braids are one of the most gentle hairstyles for hair. More tangles = more knots = more breakage. I’ll link some videos in the styling section of this. You already seem to naturally not wear your hair too tightly when you put it up but tight ponytails and buns can prevent tangles at the ends of your hair but will cause breakage closer to the scalp.
At some point your ends may be a lost cause and you’ll need a trim. If you can afford it going to the salon is your best bet, but as someone who trims their own hair here are some tips for it! Do not cut your hair with normal scissors, purchasing even a cheap pair of hair scissors will make a huge difference. Those scissors are specifically designed to not damage hair. Cut a small piece of your hair in the front to use as a guide, cut with you scissors vertically not horizontally so you won’t get weird shelf looking cuts. Then use a comb holding the piece you just cut and the next section of your hair you want to trim and use the comb to make sure it’s even, do this all the way around your hair. This is easier with long hair, also know it will not be 100% even, most people will not notice.
If you are going to be having to subject your hair to chlorine, salt water etc. this is a time you can go crazy with the hair oil to make a protective barrier between your hair and the water, the damaging effect will attack the oil not your hair. Just be sure to wash your hair as soon as you can after the fact.
Everyone’s hair type is different so you may need to adjust as you go, if something seems to make it worse or cause problems readjust and try something different

Personal, Poetry

The Blue Rose

Originally written spring 2011

It is raining

In a garden full of roses

A few kisses by Fire

A few blushing Pink

A few sunlit yellow

One pure white

One just barely blooming

Turning out to be a beautiful hue.

The impossible shade of bright blue

A gardener comes

With his tools wet by the rain

He slips

And Nips the Blue Rose

Kills

The Blue Rose

He slips further

His hand cut by the thorns

His blood sprays the ground

Where the White Rose lay

From the blood comes

The WildFlower.

🌹🦋🌹🦋🌹🦋🌹🦋

Personal

Burnout

I finally got a new job, yay! I literally can’t remember if I mentioned it in a prior post or not and I am too lazy at the moment to go back and look at it. Recently I have been reflecting a lot on burnout, like my chronic case of burnout more specifically. I graduated from college in the 2020 pandemic and have been jumping from a high-stress job to a high-stress job since then. Fingers crossed I finally found a winner for more than just a year or two. So far so good and I have a much lighter mental load. With that lighter mental load, I got to reflect on how well I have been doing overall honestly with my mental health. It’s come up on my YouTube channel before some of my challenges in that department. I more recently have chosen to be somewhat more private with the details of my situation but I do still think general conversations on mental health can be helpful too. I also feel generally more comfortable discussing this in blog format.

I realized that I was finally eating better, changing my work situation, keeping my home neater, (just went through a massive declutter I want to write about soon), and overall just doing better. However, I was still exhausted. I realized that I had been so busy first surviving, and then learning how to function, that I am finally ready to take some time to actively recover from years of chronic stress. One problem though is that I don’t exactly know how to do that. A lot of hobbies of mine got put on hold to focus on learning how to function and now that I am returning to them, I am definitely a happier and healthier person than I was a year ago, I am just terrified of losing “momentum” so to speak.

Fortunately, one of my new/old hobbies is being obsessed with the library in all its forms again. I love listening to audiobooks from the library and it turns out there really is a book for everything. I listened to books on decluttering, stress management, and maintaining friendships. A lot of these had these key phrases in them that really stuck with me. For example what finally let me truly declutter was the idea “Making a landfill in your home is no more environmentally friendly than doing it in the dumpster” There was a lot of old craft supplies and ruined fabrics that just had to go. The book that sparked me writing this post was Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle and the idea of a stress cycle is just absolutely revolutionary to me. It’s the idea that dealing with your stressors (thing that is making you stressed) and your stress (the physiological response) are two entirely separate items on your agenda to deal with things like chronic burnout. I have very much not been doing the second thing. Lots of recent research has mentioned that stress and trauma live in our bodies but the concept that you have to actually attend to that body and signal to your body that you are safe now is a completely revolutionary concept to me. Maybe this was common sense to other people but often times it feels like I missed the boat on a lot of regulation things like this.

I’m looking forward to taking this information and trying to build more time into my life to actually release the stress that has all built up in my body and to see what difference it makes. I’m hoping it will eventually allow me to both take care of myself and participate in the hobbies I love consistently.

Poetry

Childish Necromancy

I want to get some of the poetry out of my Notes app and thought here would be the best place.

Childish Necromancy

Originally written 04/04/2024

I placed tulips on your grave today,

And made a confession long forgot

I keep trying to bring you back

Even though I know I cannot

I tried to find you again

I looked for the birdsong in the garden

Only to find that the bird no longer sings the same tune

So badly I wanted to hear that song once more

I made it reality

Deep down, how does one accept you’ll now forever be a memory?

I kept that locked inside my heart for so long

But even now I still can’t accept that you’re gone.

It’s been a lifetime and I’ve finally had a year like that one.

I’ve had movement in my heart I haven’t felt since I was young.

There are things now that I wouldn’t trade for you, and in that there is guilt.

But maybe just maybe, that’s how healing is finally built.