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365 lifestyle Lolita challenge

The Cycles of Being a Lifestyle Lolita

It’s really interesting being a lifestyle Lolita these days, we’re definitely still around but not as much so anymore, it’s also harder to define as time goes on. I feel as if there is definitely a range of lifestyler but that mythic princess who wears her frills everyday is an inspiration to many of us. I wear Lolita about 3-5 times a week now but I’ve identified as a lifestyler for a long time and I think we go through cycles that are entirely normal for any interest!

Lolita Fashion is a demanding hobby whether you are a lifestyle lolita or not, and it can feel like to do it properly it has to be all consuming 100% of the time. This is simply not true and one of the reasons that I wrote in my princess code to not box yourself in. The idealized princess is an inspiration to my life but my clothes aren’t all that I am as a person, I am unique and dynamic and we should all share all parts of ourselves with the world if we see fit.

Lolita is a subculture through and through we have our own language and customs even. There are a lot of benefits to having such an extremely tight knit community, when there are outside threats lolitas band together in ways that is an honor to see. However one downside especially as someone who created Lolita fashion content online I see an encouragement to squash yourself down to one thing that I don’t see as much in other groups in Lolita fashion. If a creator wants to only share their lolita selves and keep the rest private that is entirely up to them! But for creators who create a lot of Lolita fashion content I often see some quiet judgement when they want to share other parts of themselves.

Also interests coming and going in cycles is entirely natural! I have been in lolita for over 5 years now and I’m on an interest upswing, I’ve been able to wear it more often than I don’t but sometimes I’m too tired and there’s nothing wrong with that. I also love sharing my love of cosplay and anime which is especially frowned upon in parts of the Lolita community even though for a lot of us we discovered Lolita fashion through those channels

I also feel a weird sense of a custodianship of our image that is unique to Lolita fashion. Rose Nocturnalia on YouTube made a great video about it. I think we need to learn to let go a little bit in this community of what the mainstream thinks of us. I get that we want our lives to be made easier but by the sheer nature of being alternative there are certain things mainstream people are never going to get and we shouldn’t turn on each other to try to be more accepted

Fashion Tutorials, lolita fashion

Phone Decoden!

I tried decodening for the first time on my phone case and I LOVE it!! It’s so cute and although somewhat intimidating incredibly easy to do as long as you have somewhat of a roll with it kind of attitude, I did my phone entirely with my collection of broken jewelry pieces and gems from the dollar store and it came out incredibly cute! Here’s the supplies I used to do mine

1.) Silicone Caulk

2.) dessert piping bag and star tip

3.) Phone Case

4.) Broken jewelry for cabochons

5.)Dollar store gems

I first used the silicone in the piping bag to make “frosting” dots all over the case after sanding it to rough it up enough for it to stick, then simply stuck my desired pieces in! I will say that with how thick I laid the silicone on it took about 2 days to dry so if you’re going for a similar look keep that in mind

lolita fashion

Liliana Rowena’s Princess Code

Liliana’s Princess Code

💖 A Princess lives their life the way they’d like to see others live

💖 A Princess strives to be her truest self and inspire others to be more comfortable being theirselves

💖A Princess does not allow hatred to be harbored in her heart and does her best to help herself and her community be safe and cared for

💖 A Princess indulges in beautiful things that make me her happy regardless of what others think

💖 A Princess allows herself time to be dressed and groomed exactly as she would like to be

💖 A Princess gives a present to herself everyday, be it a cup of tea or something grand

💖 A Princess does not allow herself to be limited by the box she thinks others would like to have her in, or the box she may have made for herself.

💖 A Princess is responsible to herself and others in deeds, errands and funds, but not at the expense of her health

💖 A Princess shares her love and her smile with the world but not at the cost of her boundaries or her health

💖 A Princess strives to be the best she can be, beauty not perfection

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I was inspired to write this by the original code done by Princess Skye on the Princess Portal! Sadly it can only be accessed on the way back machine now, here I’ll share the original copied from the Lolita Princess blog, I’ll credit with the link below

The Princess Code

“[A] list of values and ideals we aspire to as Princesses… a collaborative effort between many other girls who have sent in their sentences. It belongs to all of us, and while we may not agree with every item on the list (and that’s okay!), it creates a picture of what being a Princess means.”

  • A Princess inspires others to follow their hopes and dreams through pursuing her own.
  • A Princess greets everyone with a welcoming smile, melting the hearts of friends and disarming her enemies.
  • A Princess has dignity, which protects her from the opinions and spite of ignorant people.
  • A Princess always looks beautiful, even when she is asleep.
  • A Princess aims for perfection in every step.
  • A Princess should be given fresh flowers everyday, even if she has to give them to herself.
  • A Princess grows in recognition and stature in proportion to how much she treats others as royalty.
  • A Princess reflect’s her inner beauty in her aesthetic choices.
  • A Princess goes to war against the violence of incivility with the weapons of etiquette and prodigal generosity.
  • A Princess lives each day from the heart, expressing herself freely and treasuring every moment.
  • A Princess has the right to spend her funds on beautiful things she does not need because beauty in itself is priceless.
  • A Princess should follow her heart and believe in her dreams, even if the whole world seems to be against her.
  • A Princess respects her environment and nurtures the beauty of nature.
  • A Princess is never too busy to give a kind word or smile where it is needed.
  • A Princess’s most precious jewel is Hope, which lights her darkest days and shows her the beauty in every soul she meets.”

https://thelolitaprincess.wordpress.com/the-princess-code/

I really like the original code quite a bit and took a lot of inspiration from it! I updated it and tried not to take anything word for word, in some ways I find the original too specific and too unattainable but I love how charming it is! Also in the blog post that I referenced it said that Princess Skye emphasized that every princess should have their own code, I encourage any lifestyle Lolita or jfashion that relates to being a princess write one of their own! It was really fun and let me reflect once again on what being a lifestyle Lolita means to me for more than just the clothes

lolita fashion

Out Shopping Today!

My fiance and I went to the mall today!! I’m happy to say I think I’ve finally filled out all the Kawaii accessories I need for the time being, I absolutely raided the Claire’s and hot topic and my chocolate bar earrings go great with my coord for today!

Needless to say I’ll be taking a month or two off but I now have so many options for my coords! It was such a great experience and I can’t wait for my comm’s virtual tea party!

Personal

Life Updates & What’s in My Bag

This will be the second time I will decide to end the lifestyle Lolita challenge, I think I have learned such a rigidly structured challenge is not for me, I wanted to motivate myself to traditionally blog more but what I ended up with was complete overwhelm and ignoring this blog,

I think I will still refer to the list for prompts but use it more as a list of prompts than a list of hard and fast must blog this on this day, it’s such a fun idea! And I would love to see a blogger with more spoons regularly at their disposal try it, I don’t feel too bad ending the challenge again considering the original creator wasn’t able to complete it! I’m hoping to blog daily but on a more thing by thing I want to talk about basis, for example showing you guys my completed purse kit I made! I’m really excited about it and I don’t think I’ve ever done a what’s in my bag before.

I’ve got emergency makeup for retouches, lip balm, a decoden mirror from a comm member, hairbrush and deodorant! It’s a nice little kit to have and helps me feel put together more of the time! I’ve only had it for a week but I really enjoy just having it in my bag

I’m trying to find small ways to make my life easier recently and this has made a bigger difference than I thought it would

Personal

Pandemic Burnout

Ah, that thing everyone and their mother has been talking about but it’s 100% real, last night my fiancé found a cockroach in our apartment and that was kind of the last straw for me. It’s been a struggle just to keep up with basic tasks and although our house isn’t terrible the fact that I keep forgetting to take the trash out resulted in that felt awful! It’s so tempting and easy to try and beat myself up for that, I’ll admit it. I cried.

This whole year has been so emotionally overwhelming and I am working a lot in therapy on just personal stuff right now but having the pandemic be an entire year for me in about a week I’ve been really feeling the emotional effects, I am blessed to still have a job and be rather financially stable something that I had never dreamed of being able to say at 23. (I guess college is good for something) however keeping up with self-care and housework has felt near impossible especially with my partner also feeling burned out.

I want to try to look at myself with compassion and ask what I need to do what I have to maintain my home and that is a self compassionate instinct that I am so grateful for but the pull of an old familiar shame tugs on me from time to time. I then can something feel shame about the shame, growing up neurodivergent can make care tasks a major source of guilt which just worsens the ability to keep up with it because it’s no longer just about the dishes it’s about the guilt about the dishes and it just spirals.

So I’m making a plan of action and trying to find new ways to restock my spoons in this time that steals so many of them, I’ll try to find what gives me energy and go from there. I’m hoping to make a more solid system with my cutie when I get home and to block out more rest times for myself

365 lifestyle Lolita challenge

Compliment a Post | 365 Lifestyle Lolita Challenge

Doing this nowadays is easy as pie! I can go to a variety of social media websites and see coords! I actually kind of do this on a semi regular basis, I kind of live by the motto if you have something nice to say, say it! People don’t hear nearly enough positive things about themselves and I have found in my experience people love it when you genuinely compliment their style. It is validating to hear something they like and chose for themselves is something others might like too! I love scrolling on closet of frills, daily egl and Instagram for inspiration! I love seeing experimental and well established coords although my favorites are casual Lolita and 2010 sweet to see.

lolita fashion

Alterations and Lolita Fashion

I am so very happy that nowadays in Lolita fashion alterations are now being considered very acceptable and common place, back when I first started getting into egl it was not nearly as accepted or talked about.

I didn’t see much around that went against it but it certainly wasn’t a suggestion I saw people having and a lot of Kawaii channels on youtube would also have a fitness and weight loss element somewhere on their channel

As I think body positivity has gone more mainstream I think it seeped into Lolita fashion spaces for the better. I altered two of my favorite pieces in my closet the first one was a baby JSK that’s seams burst when I was wearing it. That gave me the courage to finally take it apart and add waist tie panels into the bust. The feeling of having the clothes I feel cutest in also fit me the best is amazing! One of my goals for the month of March is to get through my pile of skirts and dresses that need to be altered so that I can fully enjoy my wardrobe without the constant reminder that these clothes weren’t made for someone like me

I am not plus size by mainstream standards, I fall between a dress size 12-16 depending on the brand, that would put me into what I would consider mid size, but it makes even buying mainstream clothes difficult for me from time to time. When it comes to egl I without a shadow of a doubt would fall into the plus size category. However for years I would squeeze myself into pieces leaving red marks and making my body ache just to feel like I belonged, however every time my weight would inevitably fluctuate and a piece would refuse to zip I would feel an intense shame rise over me as if these clothes were meant to dictate what size I should be, not the other way around.

So when I finally upsized two of my pieces the sheer freedom and love I felt when I put them on was incredible. Due to liking the more solid control of hand stitching I had hand stitched these two pieces and it had felt like I had put love and self acceptance into every stitch. For the longest time I equated my health with size and weight due to my family’s history of diabetes but I realize now that every time I start focusing on my weight I throw health behaviors out the window! It’s still a struggle for me and I know I have a lot more work to do on my body image as time goes forward but I’m hoping by transforming the clothes I love to work for me I can start to have that work be just a little easier