Maybe? I think so. It’s always been a bit of a topic of discussion in the Lolita community whether you see yourself being a Lolita forever. When I started there were a lot more lifestyle lolita creators around and there was a lot of passionate declarations that they would wear lolita to their graves but as time as gone on. I’ve seen many of them grow out of the fashion into more toned down more wearable soft feminine fashions, and there’s nothing wrong with that. With the shift to treating Lolita fashion as a fashion you can take on and off in more recent years I feel as if I’ve seen it have more staying power for people. I feel as if the lifestyle lolita idea was suffocating for some people and it felt suffocating once peoples interests and hobbies changed and I think that’s a bit sad. There is no need to be a lifestyle lolita to wear lolita fashion and I feel as if once upon a time those two things were expected to go together and you couldn’t just wear the clothing on its own, or at least there was some sort of internal pressure that people felt. With Lolita fashion being such an extravagant fashion there has definitely been “part-time” lolitas for a long time.
I personally consider myself a lifestyle lolita but I make sure that I don’t force myself to be anything I’m not. It just makes me genuinely happy to try to live my life to a “lolita fashion ideal” that I have defined for myself. I try to do and wear things that bring me joy and bring kindness into the world. I don’t know if I’m always successful but I try. As far as the clothing itself, I think it suits me very well! I look best in lolita in my opinion and it’s something I can’t imagine ever giving up. I haves spent years collecting my wardrobe and developing my style and I genuinely feel like I just now barely finally got the hang of it and are happy with my coords more often than not. That took me over 6 years to fully get! I imagine that I’ll develop and grow even more as the years go on in this fashion and there are infinite possibilities and avenues for me to explore. For example I have hardly touched classic lolita in my time wearing egl so if I ever get bored there is always something new to develop and explore. I feel like lolita fashion exists almost as a skill based hobby where you can infinitely reach towards a perfection you will ultimately never be able to achieve and that is so exciting for me! Two of my hobbies outside of lolita are karate and ballet and they are the two sports I never quit. (I played a lot of sports when I was a kid) Once I get a sense that I have “completed” something I will often get bored and leave. I compare lolita fashion to ballet and karate due to them having in common what I believe is the spirit of reaching for that unachievable ideal. I think for many people this is an exhausting notion that can wear them out and that is entirely understandable, but I love it. It means I can cherish these activities forever and will never tire of them because they will never be completed.
Once upon a time I did wonder if I would quit lolita fashion after becoming a mother, I don’t have children yet and they are about a decade away in my life plan at the moment but I do want them some day. I thought about the practicality of the dresses chasing after little children and babies and when they are little it is quite possible I’ll take a break. However, I have seen so many lolitas on social media that have become mothers recently and it hasn’t hindered them at all. Also, how exciting will it be to get to share something I love with my children, I want my children to know me well when they’re all grown and lolita fashion has been a big part of my life for a good chunk of my life at this point and if I’m still in it when they’re born will be the majority of my life. I fell in love with the fashion from afar at 16, and starting wearing it in earnest at 18 and am about to turn 25 soon. I want my children to grow up having known who I was as a person and I think stopping what I love wouldn’t help with that. It’ll be fun for them to have unique stories and for me to have reasons to go out and get to be just me from time to time as well.
And then once they’re all grown and off, how fun will it be to be an eccentric middle aged woman then an eccentric old woman. Since lolita clothes are made to fit a variety of sizes with shirring panels and waist ties I may get to keep a lot of my wardrobe for the majority of my life. I have pieces in my closet that fit me at 135lbs and at 210lbs and how awesome will it be to tell a young person that I have had a dress for 40 years and maybe show them a picture of myself wearing it 20 years ago. I would love to host tea parties for my grandchildren (if I have them, who knows what my children will decide) and pull out cute china sets and bake cookies for them all dressed up. Maybe I will be able to pass down clothing I no longer care for to any of my young relatives who are interested and tell them stories about all the fun things I got to do with the friends in my comm. I am so excited to get to grow and change throughout my life
And then there’s now, my local lolita fashion comm has really helped me fight off that common loneliness from when you graduate school. Since my friendships with them were never based on seeing them in classes or living with them in dorms they didn’t fade. We have meets regularly so I am able to go out with a friend at least once a month and I feel so blessed to have them. Some of my best friends are from my lolita comm and they make me so happy. The clothing itself has brought me so much joy but the community I think has become even more important to me as time has gone on. The lolita fashion community is unique in how active we are and how much we value going to do things together, I talk to people in other hobby groups in my area and they describe having a harder time getting to do things or making friends with the people they are in groups with.
Lolita Fashion is so special to me, and I can’t imagine ever giving it up, but I will never force myself to keep wearing something if I don’t love it anymore. The egl community has given me so much to do, introduced me to fun hobbies and lifelong friends. So for now, in my heart of hearts, I truly believe I’ll wear it forever.
Luna By The Lake With Cake 