I have never been the type who is able to settle, I’m always looking for the next biggest and brightest thing! My last job I thought that I had finally found my place for the first couple months but then as always the cracks began to show. I work somewhere meant to help people start their lives but everywhere I turned it seemed like some new thing was holding them back. I didn’t want to admit it but I was slowly coming to resent my work the way I had everywhere I had worked. Honestly I think work isn’t for me, I honestly don’t know who it is for. My dream is to be able to create content full time but I don’t know if that will ever become a fully realized reality for me. For now I suppose I’m searching for something that I can tolerate.
It’s a bummer because every time I start somewhere new I start full of enthusiasm and slowly see it fade, even if my boss and coworkers can’t. I just want to like what I do enough to not dread it everyday or constantly see the moral failings that I can’t unsee in the places I work. I’m currently (at the time of writing this) in my round of sending out 13 job applications and switching careers entirely. I’m currently in social work but am looking to go to sales. The helping profession isn’t what I thought it would be, maybe one day I’ll return but for now I’m happy to try something different.
It’s weird being an adult and making choices, some family members are super supportive of me switching my jobs even if it means taking a temporary pay cut, others seem kind of disappointed in me for not sticking with it after the most recent incident that was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. To be fair though, to her it seems like this came out of nowhere. Work is the least interesting thing about me and about my life and I’m ready for it to truly be that way. I hate complaining or talking about work in social situations so when people ask I say that it’s fine and I love it even if at the time I don’t 100% mean it.
I also have switched what I want to do with my life every four years since I was 5 years old, it’s something I just know about myself and why I chose to get a degree in psychology in the first place since I knew that if I wanted to switch careers in the future I’d be able to. I wanted to share this because if you’re in your early twenties and feel a little adrift, I don’t want you to feel alone.
Luna By The Lake With Cake 