November 2020 – Luna By The Lake With Cake

Leaning on Nostalgia to Get Through this Year

After finishing watching a long slew of Princess Peachie videos, videos from when Pixielocks still wore Lolita Fashion, and reading ParfaitDoll through the wayback machine. I realized that I have been really embracing the 2010 sweet aesthetics that I adored when I first discovered Lolita Fashion on the internet when I was a teenager. I think clinging on to things that gave me comfort before can be helpful, especially when I had to catch myself looking at triggering content for two days before I realized I was doing it. Nostalgia seems the much healthier alternative, the bright colors and familiarity just warms my heart and emulating the idols who helped me get through some of the hardest times in my life in my existing memory has brought me more peace that I could have realized. I love seeing people embrace the things they love and I should be more careful not to deny myself of that.

In the past week I am delighted that I have finally figured out the perfect way to do heatless curls for my high pigtails, although I should get one of those classic twin tail wigs at some point. I also want to create more moodboards and allow myself to really dive into living the lolita lifestyle more. I had been really burned out from work and living in a pandemic but going wild and saying you know what a lace headdress and false lashes are okay for work if it’s a saturday has helped me remain excited about life when things seem really bleak. Lolita has always been this way for me but I think it’s exaggerated with everything going on.

Here’s the coord I wore to work today!

Anime

Why Madoka Magica is One of my Comfort Anime

I am an avid anime fan who is also a lolita, I think it comes as no surprise one of my favorite genres is Magical Girl Anime as my daily aesthetic is trying to look like a shoujo protagonist post transformation at all times. But one thing that does come as a surprise to many is which magical girl anime I lean on most for comfort. When things get super rough which honestly, as this pandemic drags on it has been increasingly harder to hang on to hope somedays I decided to rewatch Puella Magi Madoka Magica.

This show is undeniably sad and tragic so I surprised even myself when I reached out for it as I realized that it had been getting harder for me to get out of bed again. I have often reached out for more melancholic media when I have felt my mental health declining a good example would be Violet Evergarden, however that undeniably has themes of hope and growth and positive change for the main character whereas Madoka Magica is often a tale that is interpreted as the deterioration of these characters over and over again until Madoka Kaname makes the ultimate sacrifice at the end of the series. It isn’t considered a happy show.

However, given the current state of the world I think there is something relatable to being trapped in a cycle that you have to fight to survive in over and over again. Becoming an adult in the pandemic has been difficult, I’ve had to change jobs due to my medical bills being too high, I’m isolated from my closest friends from college due to the pandemic, and it feels like an uphill battle and so unfair. I know everyone is going through similar things right now but it’s still so frustrating and there is very little help being offered to the general population. I think the sentiment of either work or die, but working is hazardous to your health is very relatable at the moment.

I find that in that situation I often beat myself up for having negative emotions or feeling like I’m feeling but when I rewatch Madoka seeing these girls in these impossible situations and feeling nothing but love for these characters I am better able to have compassion for myself and be grateful that I wasn’t literally tricked by a little demon creature. (Kyubey is pretty cute and I want a plushie of him even though he’s evil) I think being able to compare yourself to characters and sympathize with them can help you be kinder to yourself and recognize value in yourself that you didn’t see was there. So I’ll continue on my kick and rewatch this Bad Apple AMV for the 50th time

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Trying an Experiment with My Hair

Here are some things I’ve been doing the past two months that have made a huge difference for my hair! It hasn’t really made it grow faster but it has made it much nicer

1.) Start Moisturizing My Ends

2.) Try to Space Out washes more (Right now I’m at every other day

3.) Wear Braids instead of Ponytails

4.) Stop Cutting It

5.) Deep Condition Once a Week

6.) Brush it Correctly

This has helped my hair quite a bit while growing it out! I’ve been using dry shampoo and leave in conditioner for moisturizing daily and extending between washes

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Purism and Lolita Fashion

This is a really interesting topic for me to cover and I have really complex feelings about it. This may not be a popular take and I acknowledge that. I think that Lolita Fashion has a purist culture problem. In multiple ways, I have found that if you like to produce lolita fashion content online showing interest in other niches will make you less popular or so it seems. There are ways to go about it and there are certainly efamous lolitas who are known for multiple things but some topics seem fairly off limits if you present yourself in lolita fashion on the internet. One of these is showing interest in anime and manga, a lot of times if you are a lolita on the internet who expresses interest in anime and manga outside of specific shoujo manga it can feel restrictive.

I identify as a lifestyle lolita and enjoy incorporating lolita fashion into as much of my life as possible but the community pressure in internet spaces to have lolita fashion become an all consuming part of your life can be pretty intense. I don’t see this sentiment as much in public places online but one quick look into behind the bows or cgl and these sentiments are pretty plain to see. There seems to be this pressure for lolitas to be pure maidens that never have any faults even though that is the antithesis of the core message of the subculture. We’re meant to be a space where anyone can be a princess regardless of personality, interests, or body type. I have also noticed pressure for those who publicly wear lolita fashion to keep their image “pure” in the sexual sense and this is where my thoughts get complicated.

Where I appreciate respecting the core beginnings of the fashion as a way to desexualize feminine presentations I don’t think people can be expected to be that way 24/7. For example, I don’t think that it’s a good idea for individuals to do fetish things online while wearing lolita or to expose minors to kink in fashion spaces. However, if people want to use their account to talk about anime characters they like or talk about celebrities they’re attracted to they shouldn’t be shamed for that. Wearing Lolita Fashion doesn’t dictate someone’s personality and there shouldn’t be the expectation that it should. No one owes you being your ideal maiden. Most people wear lolita fashion for themselves, I know I do. I choose to reach for being like what I consider to be an ideal princess because it makes me happy. Nobody owes me that and I don’t owe that to you. Let’s do what makes us happy as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone.

In conclusion, do what you want, but don’t expose minors to explicit material or the general public who hasn’t consented. That’s it. You want to tell me all about your favorite video games while wearing lolita fashion, go for it! Tell me about why you think moths are neat, go for it! Give me the entire history of the horror genre, I’d love to find out! Enjoy your fashion, but don’t restrict yourself.