Month: October 2020

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Etiquette for Photoshoots in Cemeteries

It’s that time of year where the spooky season is here and we celebrate spirits and death. You may be considering doing a fashion or cosplay shoot in a cemetery. There seems to be varied opinions on whether you should do this at all. It is up to your own discretion whether or not you wish to participate in this activity. Here are some tips for respectfully conducting filming or a photoshoot in a graveyard.

  • Don’t sit, lean, or prop up equipment on any gravestones or monuments
  • If there is a funeral going on or a large amount of mourners that day, reschedule.
  • Remove or blur out any names that are visible on graves in the shot. Avoid shooting near newer gravestones
  • Leave the area better than you arrived, take some time to pick up any litter you may see and be sure not to damage anything that was already there.
  • If you are asked by anyone who is there at the time to stop what you are doing and leave, do not argue and respect their wishes. This is first and foremost a place to mourn.
  • Be prepared for any photos you use to potentially be controversial if you post to social media, be prepared for that and be able to respond to concerns with grace.
  • Don’t take anything from the cemetery
  • Be sure you know the hours that it is open for visitors and only go during those hours
  • Have fun and be safe!
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How Vlogtober is going, and why I need to stop talking myself down from my dreams

I have been extremely busy on my Youtube channel and it has been so much fun! However a couple days ago I started to get demotivated even though the reception to my vlogtober content has been even better than I could have ever imagined. I actually hit 100 subscribers, my new years resolution long before the actual new year and yet…. I started having less and less energy to film content. Part of that is that it is indeed very difficult to film and upload videos every day for a month while I am also working a full time job.

However, I think a part of my is scared of actually succeeding at what I want. There’s always been expectations in my life that I would be the “successful” child and that all that my parents put themselves through is so I could live the lives they never had. I’m the child of a whole group of teenage parents who did their best but put a lot of pressure on me and that pressure often contradicted itself making it very hard for me to actually know what I wanted. Now that I am an adult it’s becoming clearer and clearer to me what I want to be in life, and what I want to be is an entertainer, that’s what makes my soul light up. I want to be an artist, youtuber, model, blogger, voice actress, fashion designer and whenever I admitted that to myself I would always tell myself I was being unrealistic and that that wasn’t a respectable thing to want to be and I would keep pushing myself to do the “sensible” thing. I don’t want to be sensible, I want to dream and that’s okay.

I think it is important to have a plan and to go about what I want in a way that will support me, for example I am saving up an emergency fund and will keep my current job until I would be able to safely sustain myself on other income but that doesn’t mean that I can’t work towards those goals. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. I even got back into music again recently. I have my fiance to thank for a lot of this, he is a the prince of pep talks and although this feeling has been bubbling inside me for awhile it finally clicked when he said that it was okay to have grandiose life goals and to see your life as stepping stones but if that changes that’s okay too and I am so grateful I have him. So I’ll choose to dare to dream again.

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My Gothic Reading List

I will include a mix of books that I have read and also still want to read, some of these are actually gothic literature and some are just things that remind me of the aesthetic

1.) Dracula

I have actually read this book and there is a lot of surprising details inside of it, at one point a man eats a spider. It is a bit more confusing than I expected but all around highly entertaining and I reccommend

2.) Coraline

It’s a children’s novel but it is genuinely very spooky, it’s a short read and a delight. Also the movie is very cute as well.

3.) Frankenstein

An amazing book that is largely misrepresented in media. I really loved reading it and now understand how it was so frightening to Shelley’s colleague’s at the time. The main theme I gathered from it is if you create life don’t be a deadbeat dad.

4.) Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

I can’t believe that I still haven’t read this book, it’s been on my list for awhile and I want to promise myself to read it this month.

5.) The Haunting of Hill House

I’ve only recently become aquainted with this novel’s existence but the premise of a haunting is a classic and it is on my want to read list

6.) We Have Always Lived in the Castle

This is another on my want to read list as I love psychological thrillers in movie form but haven’t experienced any in book form

7.) Edgar Allen Poe’s Poems

I love all sorts of his poetry and I believe his work to be fairly standard of gothic literature

8.) The Yellow Wallpaper

This is an amazingly disturbing short story that I adore and illustrates a lot of the horror of being a woman in that time period

9.) The Phantom of the Opera

At this point the musical is much more famous but the original novel is very compelling and much more disturbing

10.) The Picture of Dorian Gray

This book is a delight and I didn’t know it was considered gothic literature until very recently, I read it for AP English in high school and it still sticks out in my mind

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Unique and Modern Lifestyle Lolita Ideas

  • Listen to Etiquette podcasts while you cook, during chores and during your commute it’s an excellent way to sharpen your conversation and social skills. My favorites are Schmanners and Awesome Etiquette.
  • Many classical books are in the public domain, search around to find free ebook versions to read to brush up on your literature knowledge
  • Watch Youtube tutorials of traditional skills, find tutorials on how to sew, draw, craft, bake and cook! There’s a plethora of information around the internet.
  • Start a blog! Lolita Fashion despite a lot of emphasis on historical influence has had a rich history of a thriving online community, a blog gives you a place to share and reflect
  • Learn how to make fancy documents on different computer programs, use special fonts in personal emails and create cute personalized print outs to help organize your life. (Make sure the emails are still readable!)
  • Run a fashion instagram where you share your favorite photos and moments
  • Join facebook communities to learn more about the fashion, there are a plethora to choose from.
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Social Distancing Virtual Halloween Lolita Meetup Ideas

1.) Have a Spooky Movie Marathon over Zoom, you may need to restart the meeting a few times if no one in your comm has the premium version. Make sure to pick movies ahead of time that people feel comfortable with and that people are willing to talk over, as it is a social affair!

2.) Play a spooky rpg session over discord! Have a DM in your comm? Plan a D&D or other rpg session and try to plan your coords around the theme and your character!

3.) Have an Animal Crossing “Trick or Treat!” Animal Crossing seems to be a very popular video game among lolitas and there’s a good chance that people in your comm have it! Try to collect the seasonal items throughout the month and decorate your islands in a festive way. Make sure to visit everyone’s island who wants their island to be seen!

4.) Have a bakeoff in your own kitchen with spooky treats!! Talk while you bake and and show off your treats when you’re done!

5.) Share directions of a craft with the group, perhaps bat embroidery or flower crowns with skulls inside. Chat while you make them and show them off if they go well and laugh if they go badly

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My Ideal Maidenly Day

7:00am – Wake Up and Get Dressed in the coord I laid out the night before

8:00am – Eat Breakfast and Read Etiquette Guides

9:00am – Go for a walk in nature and reflect on myself

10:00am – Exercise

11:00am – Practice an Instrument

11:30am – Practice a language

12:00pm – Lunch

12:30 – Chores

1:00pm – Drawing

2:00pm – Sewing

3:00pm – Play a video game

4:00pm – Shopping

5:00pm – Dinner

6:00pm – Reading and Relaxing

7:00pm – Call a friend

8:00pm – Bathing and Getting Ready for Bed

9:00pm – Write in Journal

10:00pm – Free time

11:00pm – Sleep

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Lifestyle Lolita Ideas for October

The leaves have changed, there’s pumpkins everywhere and its time to get spooky!!!! I will be participating in Blogtober!!! I am really excited to spend this month really focusing on my content on all of my platforms! I will be trying to post everyday to this blog, and both of my youtube channels. In order to make this content feasible for me, I will be scheduling some things ahead of time!!

Here are some seasonal lolita ideas!

  • Embroider pumpkins and fall leaves onto little items or projects
  • Make a pumpkin or apple spice mix, throw it into different recipes throughout the season
  • Bake an apple pie! It will smell amazing!
  • Get some cute gourds to decorate your home in a seasonal way!
  • Talk a walk through a graveyard,
  • Make some spooky themed accessories, oranges are a unique color for lolita and can help some of your red dresses be coorded in ways that reflect the changing leaves.
  • Watch some creepy cute movies like the Nightmare Before Christmas, Coraline, and the Corpse Bride
  • Learn a warm craft! Try knitting, crocheting or needle felting!