Hi!!! I’m back from my hiatus, I’m not dead I swear. This pandemic and graduation and general growing up has largely kept me away from this blog as well as the allure of keeping up on the other socials. It brings me a lot of joy to see that people were coming to this blog anyways. Thank you guys for being patient and I’ll try to be more on top of it in the future.
I have had very mixed feelings about Closet of Frills in the past, it has often seemed like a place where people would post and get coords ripped apart and was just asking to get put on Behind the Bows or CGL on 4chan. However, I’ve also come to the conclusion that it can be a really helpful resource for improving one’s coords and seeing lots of lolita fashion content on your feed.
I remember when I first started posting on closet of frills, the results were not the greatest. I got a lot more concrit than I had anticipated and had a bit of a hit to my confidence. I hadn’t realized how much of a beginner I still was in the eyes of many. It was hard to hear, and I also got quite a few comments that just weren’t very helpful. I got the famous, that’s not lolita comment but with no explanation. I had a post taken down because it wasn’t lolita enough and it had felt like I had gotten pretty torn into on another post. Both hurt, but I kept posting anyway in the hopes there would be something that people would like. It didn’t exactly happen but my thoughts on CoF changed when I posted an attempt at a halloween coord which looking back on it was pretty bad. However it was the first post I feel I received a significant amount of constructive criticism on, people were showing me reference photos of it done well in the comments answering my questions and giving me brand reccommendations for the aesthtic I was going for. It felt absolutely magical, then it clicked for me, the point of concrit isn’t to make you feel bad it was to help you improve and although this may be something that would just seem obvious and although I knew it logically it hadn’t fully settled that way in my head or in my heart.
I find that that kind of concrit genuinely helped me grow as a lolita. My style before I started posting had honestly stagnated and I had a bad habit of only buying main pieces and having the rest of the coord be an afterthought, my experience posting to Closet of Frills has helped me think about the style in a more holistic way which is great! I now actually consider more of the pieces and have spent a lot more time focused on finding the basics that can make what I already have more versatile, for example these silver tea parties!! Metallics match a lot of things and I like shiny things so it was a worthy investment, I’ll be able to wear them with nearly everything I have.
However, I have thought about my early posts which were admittedly, not great, and how it was super discouraging the way that some people chose to respond to my posts. I know it can be exasperating to see new lolitas making the same mistakes over and over again but I truly believe no one makes it out of their ita phase all by themselves. Kind encouragement and correction are the best in my opinion, and technically yes these people didn’t know me so they don’t technically owe me anything but I always think that it is better to be kind if you can. I appreciate all of the people who took the time to educate me on how to improve my coords and emphasized the importance of it. I am still learning till this day.
Closet of Frills in my opinion is ultimately a helpful resource and a fun place to look at coords but I do think people, especially those who have been in the fashion a long time or have little patience can have a tendency to get a bit harsh. Even when it’s something you might need to hear. I will continue posting and enjoying the conversations I can have with people about coords and seeing how I can improve and watching others improve too. In the end, I really like Closet of Frills.
Luna By The Lake With Cake 